Evil Supreme Pizza

Chatting with RLSH Agint Jersy

2012-01-07T22:36:00.000-08:00

Agint Jersy: I don't like to speak to RLSV.

PK: Is that racist? I am not sure...
I think I need to check with my union rep...

Agint Jersy: I never really thought about it that way, I guess it is.

Chat Conversation End.

RLSV Match Up Service

2012-01-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

Silver Viper: Hmmmm.... SOMEONE'S been messin with my collection of crumbled bones of enemies. I spell something. Its... Its a combination of Eye and NVO... Curse you, Von Deathbread!

PK: ummm... hang on I gotta pee first......
Silver Viper: LOL

PK: Thank you for holding, RLSV Arch match up, this is PK how can I help you today?

Silver Viper: MY BONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PK: You are interested in an Arch enemy with a Bone theme? I will have to check... I am afraid the White Skull is unavailable at this time.

PK:How does this match look?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002958901097

Silver Viper: My...bones.... *gasp* That fiend!!!

PK: Now that you have found a match, if not already friends send a request and a short message of dedication of your willingness to arch this person.

Silver Viper: Wait a minute..... What kinda scam are you tryin to pull here!? Eh? YOU'RE the one pilfering with my bones!!
You probably sold him that frontal plate for a package of Cheetos! Curse you, Von Deathbread! Cursssssssse youuuuuuu....
(*dramatic music*)

PK: Thank you for using RLSV match up, it has been my pleasure to help you and have a pleasant day!

Chat Conversation End.

Chatting with RLS? Conor Silva

2011-12-30T01:16:00.000-08:00

Conor Silva: EXPLAIN
Jebediah VonDeathbread: Please redefine the question.
Conor Silva: Explain?
Jebediah VonDeathbread: input error... Please redefine the question and ask again.
Conor Silva: Explain what you do as a rlsv?
Jebediah VonDeathbread: What needs to be done in a unique fashion.
Conor Silva: You should learn to be less vague. Describe an experience.
Jebediah VonDeathbread: All data is open to interpretation. An experience of what... that is vague.
Conor Silva: nvr mind
Jebediah VonDeathbread: OK... nice talking to you: CONOR SALIVA
Conor Silva: Yeah...
Jebediah VonDeathbread: Would you like to play a game?

Chat Conversation End

Chatting with RLSH The Wolf Of Madison

2011-12-18T21:34:00.000-08:00

Thewolf Ofmadison: hey

Jebediah VonDeathbread: I am so into Natalie Imbruglia it is not even funny.

Thewolf Ofmadison: okay then

Chat Conversation End

Chatting with RLSH Mr. Justice

2011-12-16T21:24:00.000-08:00

RlshMr Justice: Hi
Jebediah VonDeathbread: Howdy!
RlshMr Justice: How are you?
Jebediah VonDeathbread: I think my bird is dying... I am sad.
RlshMr Justice: What species?
Jebediah VonDeathbread: Avian.
RlshMr Justice: Yes
RlshMr Justice: Have you taken it to the vet?
Jebediah VonDeathbread: I don't think there is a point to that it just died... I am sad.
RlshMr Justice: Buy a super bird
Only 9.95
Or a dog maybe
Dont be sad

Chat Conversation End

The Keene Act & YOU (1977)

2011-11-17T01:17:00.000-08:00

Still one of my favorites.

Demoted :(

2011-11-03T18:49:00.000-07:00

Well hell... looks like I have been demoted.

A few days ago I was summoned by our glorious leader The Potentate to go over my expense account.

Normally this is handled via electronic communication, but the big man wanted some "face time" so to speak... I don't even know where to look at him.. his head is nothing but volcanic gas. I was not too concerned as going to ROACH head quarter's is always a good place to re-up my arsenal of cheap ball point pens and copy paper.

After making my way down like a million hallways (that all look the same with no markings what so ever) I made it to the Sanctum Sanctorum. This was not good as everyone was in there waiting for me... even that guy with the toilet paper on his head.

I was accused of being in violation of 15 acts under the ROACH charter with the most hanus crime being aiding and abetting in Real Life Superhero activities. I was all like "What no way I hate those guys" and they were all like "Yes way we have evidence and stuff." The proceedings were really long and boring, using lot's of big words that I had no clue as to there meaning. Apparently being chummy and pals with Capes does not make you have a reputation to be "feared".

The only thing I could bring to my defense was a 15 minute interpretational dance about the balance of power done to Abba's Dancing Queen. I had felt I was winning them over as they all started clapping and forming a circle around me just like that scene in that Kevin Bacon movie Tremors.... I was wrong... out came the Nerf baseball bats. If the choice is Nerf or nothing... I would rather take the nothing thank you! This experience is beyond description.. well beyond a description of orange covered Nerf bats beating the ever loving tar out of me.

I have now been moved to a smaller office with no window, my wonderful floating hover chair has been replaced with a broken plastic molded office chair from the 1960's , and I no longer have access to the Class Three lounge... which really sucks due to the fact it is the only place that offers Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper.

Oh well in the end I guess it was better to have loved and gotten wailed on by Nerf then to have lost... or something like that.

-Poop Knife

Meta Villain Class Two

Spider-man star actor Cliff Robertson dies

2011-09-12T15:34:00.000-07:00

OSCAR-winning Hollywood actor Cliff Robertson has died... after being shot and killed by a car jacker.

At 10:04pm on Saturday evening outside of the Brooklyn public library Cliff Robertson was shot at point blank range in his 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88. Robertson was parked outside the building waiting to pick up his nephew when the suspect forced Robertson out of the car and shot him in cold blood.

Suspect Michael Papajohn was apprehended by police several hours later at an abandoned mill. Authorities were baffled as to why Papajohn was found dangling from a lamp post in what appeared to be some kind of webbing.

Robertson best known for his performance in the 1958 adaptation of Norman Mailer’s The Naked And The Dead; is survived by his wife May and nephew Peter.

Robertson's last words before bleeding out on the sidewalk were reported as "With great power comes great responsibility." At which that point a glowing blue light engulfed Robertson and he transcended into the next realm only leaving his empty clothing behind.

RLSV Victory for Villainy Over RLSH Hope

2011-07-29T00:13:00.000-07:00

Round two suckers and who is still on top?

Yeah, again the forces of pants have taken over the battle of the bulge. Yes Virginia, another cape has been shamed into the world of pants by yours truly!

I am an unstoppable pants machine. Who is next? Any takers? There is no stopping me now... your shame is my weapon, and my weapon is pants!

Another lesson learned. HOPEfully (har har har) this RLSH member will teach future generations what it is like to go against the Knife and loose.

I am taking the weekend off to celebrate.... exit stage left and que Rocky theme song. As a wise man once said "With Great Shame, Must Come Great Pants".

Spotlight: RLSH Hope

2011-07-18T20:38:00.000-07:00

Again really? And can you believe this guy is friends with Ani Mal.

Would have it been that difficult for even some basic research? Nah just come up with a name and slap on some spandex... it's all good your a "hero" now.

Hope: Hey Ani Mal what do you think of my new fruit wrap?
Ani Mal: It is ok, but your member is showing.
Hope: Oh crap... you are right dude!
Ani Mal: Get some black pants, that should fix it.
Hope: Thanks Ani Mal, you are the bestest!

I just don't know anymore.... the lady next to the chode is Violet Valkyrie. Who apparently knows how to wear spandex in a correct manner. She is either too polite or naive to tell her crime fighting buddy to change his name to The Human Wang.

This re-pantsing the RLSH thing is going to take alot of time.

The Re Evil Dead

2011-07-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

Alright so apparently Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi are reviving some form of the original film, The Evil Dead. For those that do not know of the film, please go back to your cave and bugger off.

I could care less on the outcome of this project as being a Metavillain anything with the word "evil" in it I automatically must like. This does not sound as cool as it is.... I am also contractually obligated to like Cher, asbestos, and Beta max.

But what does confuse the living Krypton out of me is what the hell do you call it? A remake, reboot, re-imagining, Evil Dead 3.0? The second film in the original trio was kind of a re-telling as well, only spiced up a little bit with money. This modern era of Re's makes my head hurt more then when I saw the Re-Re-Animator.

Diablo Cody is doing something with the project.... but again I could care less to what, as I am just in love with the name "Diablo Cody". What an awesome name to have as cracker jack reporter or a stunt woman! I hope she has a brown Suede jacket and a bowie knife... that would kick-ass.

Fourth Estate Sale

2011-07-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

RLSV Victory for Villainy Over RLSH Ani Mal

2011-07-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, I am so claiming this one.

Not but a little while ago (June 30th to be precise) one pointed out the "short comings" of the spandex monstrosity of nightmares known as the fruit wrap of Real Life Super Hero (or maybe Alt-X by now) know as Ani Mal.

The streets are still not safe, but at least the children and women will not recoil in horror... too much. If only they made a black pair of pants big enough to cover the entire shame of the RLSH sub-culture I could retire in peace... and go back to Project Love Dolphin.

This gives one new purpose in villainy. From this day forward I will not rest until all capes are wearing pants! This may take some time... but it will be time well invested.

Look out Iron Lamb... you are my next target.

BWAHAHAHA!

-PK

Captain America Dry

2011-07-04T13:15:00.000-07:00

Wow what a brilliant marketing plan. Captain America the Marvel comics symbol of super patriotism is on a bottle of Canada Dry.

The "boys" in marketing have really out done themselves this time.

Maybe this is a new era in mismarketing? Perhaps Tony Stark could start endorsing O'Douls.... or maybe Wonder Woman could have her own line of steak sauce!

Happy Villaindependence Day indeed.

Spotlight: RLSH Ani Mal

2011-06-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

Now here we have....

OH MY GOD... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

If you are going to wear spandex have the common sense to put some underwear on the outside of that thing.

Think Batman not Spider-Man for two seconds.

I don't want to see this "hero" again until he gets a pair of trunks.... or possibly a restraining order around public parks.

This is beyond epic fail at this point... like a black hole trapped inside a Corona without a lime.

Mail Bag

2011-06-23T20:48:00.000-07:00

Yeesh... it's summer time people.... even death takes a holiday.

Gosh it is super swell to know people miss me tormenting them with Death Bots and such. Here is a fun rundown of messages I have gotten in the last month.... all names are withheld to protect the un-road worthy.

Alice: i just wanted to say i am so sorry bout the phone thing on the ****** ****** show i hope u can fore give me

Skippy: I am glad you have gone away you mother ******. I hope you got hit by a truck.

Joan: Are you ok? Have not seen you on FB. I miss our late night chats. :(

Building 2-A: Dear Mr. VonDeathbread, this is to inform you that the copy of "How to Rule the World from your Couch" by Laura Day is now 5 days overdue. You will be charged .10 per day until it is returned.

Fred: Are you mad at me? What ever I did wrong I am sorry, please do not unfriend me! Please write back.

Chip: you ok? You weren't caught in any subterfuge and revenge taken against you or those close to you?

Well it looks like I have some business to attend to, as ten cents per day is going to add up really quick. Otherwise Back to the Beach with Frankie and Annette.

The Sassy Gay Friend is Dead!

2011-05-13T12:13:00.000-07:00

Yep it is sad but true... and end of an era. Just like giant cell phones and Tevo, the male sassy gay has been replaced.

I here by decree this next decade now belongs to the Sassy Bisexual friend. Back in the closet you go Carson Kressley.... you are obsolete. The SBF is in many respects similar to his predecessor. Interior decorating skills, fashion sense, and interpretational Lady Gaga dancing is all there.

The superiority of the SBF to the SGF breaks down as follows. With your typical SGF female heterosexual relationship there is always that uncomfortable level of sexual tension subconsciously on the female side. She deep down in some chromosomal level feels the need to bring the SGF back to the home team. It would be great right? You converted one back who will be the perfect life mate. He is caring, sweet, and has a much better living room set then you could ever hope for. This scenario never works out well... nine times out of ten you just sent him running back to the club where you will be gossipped about and put on the national SGF do not call list. You are shoe shopping alone from now on chica.

This is where the evolution of the SBF truly outshines his cro-magnon cousin. The heterosexual female in the SBF relationship does not feel the will or desire to have to "save" this one. She will be pleased as punch to sill have someone to look over the new fall fashions and chat on the phone about last nights episode of Glee. The SBF sexual relationship is always a option for her if she chooses to act on it. Nine times out of Ten she will not pursue that kind of relationship, as she needs someone to talk to about why her boyfriend does not understand her. A wonderful side effect for the SBF is he often does not have to pay for things when he has a current partner. The female will feel some kind of weird moral obligation to treat for talking to the SBF about her man troubles. Watermelon smoothies are the best!

Now as the sun now rises proudly over the horizon welcoming in this new utopia. I bid the SGF goodbye forever.... or until Tuesday... what ever comes first.

Satan's Cheerleaders (1977) trailer

2011-05-07T19:36:00.000-07:00

Concentrated Evil thy name is Computer King

2011-05-01T20:04:00.000-07:00

This one goes out to you Pufnstuf! Looking forward to your return.... someone has to cut those vegetables on my plate for me. :D

Superman Renounces U.S. Citizenship

2011-04-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

Oh say it ain't so Superman!

So much for truth, justice and the American way.

Guess there is a reason why Batman could always kick ole Clarks butt? I think Supes needs another Bat reality check asap! Maybe even Ollie can help and shoot a kryptonite arrow into his chest? Wait, that is the future we will never get.

Ugh, other than bankruptcy... can something please kill Superman?

http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/04/27/superman-renounces-us-citizenship/#ixzz1Kq5kCTSP

So Superman is going to renounce his allegiance to the US and proclaim it to the UN. I find the irony of him denouncing the U.S. and then going to the U.N. funny . Since the U.N. is the most useless organization on the planet just as The League of Nations Was in the 1920's and 30's. If anything he should fly over to the UN building pick it up and throw it into the sun if he really wants to "Fight for Justice."

Teenage Mother (1967) trailer

2011-04-23T22:50:00.000-07:00

RLSV Patrol Log: 04/16/11

2011-04-20T20:21:00.000-07:00

RLSV Patrol Log: 04/16/11

Teamed up with Malvado and Intern Terry for this one... safety in numbers and all that stuff.

7:06pm: Left Malvado's Lair to walk to gas station to buy evil provisions.
7:09pm: Saw pretty fountain... Malvado said it was just a tire.
7:14pm: Arrived at gas station.. this dirty bordello of capitalist filth... selling there overpriced combos and candy bars.
7:16pm: Malvado mistook a child for a girl when in fact it was a boy. Everyone in the store laughed and he apologized to the child.
7:17pm: Purchased items and left.
7:20pm: Had interesting conversation about music.
7:23pm: Saw man doing yard work and waved, he waved back.. in fear and terror seeing two RLSV's at the same time.
7:26pm: arrived back at Malvado's lair.

04/20/11

11:00pm: Finished Writing patrol log.. this one was long and I had to spend a lot of time on it.

A Hero is Born!

2011-04-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Being an RLSV is just stupid. I have no idea what I was thinking of in the first place. I have no costume... excuse me I mean uniform. I don't do anything that is remotely villain like (with the exception of not recycling on purpose cause Meow Mix said to) and I have excellent table manners. I know which one is the salad fork... do you?

I think I have changed my mind..... I hear by proclaim myself a RLSH! I will now go by the name "Wild Flower" I will protect the environment by calling 9-11 every time I see someone being a litter bug. I will zap the offender with my cattle prod (I am new to being a RLSH, who sells cattle prods cheap?) Until Johnny Law arrives.... but safely use a hefty bag full of marsh mellows to rest their head under.

I already have a grappling hook, and a Oscar Meyer weenier whistle to blow, if anything comes up that my cell phone and cattle prod cannot handle. I also plan on carrying a bag full of wild flowers to put into the end of a gun if anyone pulls one on me. Pretty cool eh? I am a total marketing machine calling myself Wild Flower and using wild flowers!

How do I contact Peter Tangen? I am so on board and ready for my photo shoot! This is going to be great! I am going to make the world a better place and get to be on a poster!

-Poop Kn..... I mean RLSH Wild Flower!

RLSV Patrol Log: 03/20/11

2011-03-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

Poop Knife Patrol Log: 03/20/11

2:32pm: Left Lair to walk to dollar store to purchase cat food.
2:34pm: Man waved at me while doing yard work.... waved back.
2:41pm: Reached the dollar store. Right behind lady who dropped the door on my face. She looked back and I gave her a death stare.. she quickly looked away. Let out audible "Hurrrmmmm"
2:42pm: Made selection of brand of cat food... Cat Cafe' looked tasty. Brand name made me think of Paris.. saw bag of Meow Mix and laughed.
2:43pm: Lady waiting in line with large cart of food smiled and said I could go in front of her. Smiled and said "Thank You". Random act of kindness, the wheel of Karma re balancing after door incident? No.. they feel my evil and are in fear for their lives.. they also smell the almost sickening sweetness of the Water Mellon Jolly Rancher I am sucking on.
2:51pm: Children in street having argument about the proper disposal of a plastic water bottle. Girl wants to throw it away... boy wants to leave it there. No need for intervention... evil will prevail and I will see the bottle there tomorrow.
2:54pm: Returned to Lair and fed cat.
3:02pm: Wrote Patrol Log

Happy Kitty Genovese Day!

2011-03-13T15:34:00.000-07:00

Time for you to get a little bit of understanding on what makes Poop Knife function.

The year was 1999 give or take in wonderful sunny south Florida. I worked at a local business in the classic downtown area that was trying to revitalize as many towns were doing in this era. The idea being to celebrate local businesses and the heritage of main street USA.

The only problem with this wonderful idea is 90% of the homeless population also resided in the downtown area as well. All the shop owners and workers became very close to each other as we had to watch out for each other on a regular basis.

One day a new member of the homeless transient (the homeless just like birds migrate south for the winter) population decided to call our little town "home". Only this one was a little different then the rest.. very mentally unstable.. scared the hell out of everyone including the rest of the local homeless We nicknamed him Uni-Manson as he wore the same style mirrored sun glasses and hoody as the Unibomber but had the wild Afro like Charles Manson.

Nothing could be done, as even though everyone knew this guy was insane he had not broken any laws.

A plan was formed to remove this dangerous element from our little corner of society. Being this was a small town our plan was leaked to other well placed members of the community... and as scary as this is they supported what we were going to do and were willing to provide what ever assistance we needed to complete our self appointed vigilante mission.

Equipment was gathered and funded by various contributors (made Z look like Mr. Rogers) and a few dry runs or "rehearsals" were performed to make sure everything would run smoothly.... the plan was open to interpretation as force was going to indeed be used but we were willing to let Uni-Manson slink off into the night to become a problem of another community.

A few hours before "showtime" we were given an intervention by one of the prominent members of the local church who had also learned what we were about to do. His words were wise and true... It was not our place to do what ever we wanted to a man who had committed no crime other then scaring the living crap out of everyone who encountered him. We agreed to stand down and find a legal route for the situation.

Three weeks later on a Tuesday..... I will never forget this day for as long as I live. Another boring day of no business, most of us decided to close early due to it being a rainy day. One store owner decided to stick it out on the chance she would make some desperately needed money. Uni-Manson must have noticed that all the stores were closed except for hers. She was stabbed 27 times by him and died on her showroom floor after bleeding out. Uni-Manson was easily found by local police who followed the trail of stolen goods he dropped on the way to a wooded area a few blocks away.

I left town shortly after.. I could not stay there anymore.

Now you tell me "Heroes" you rally around a woman you would have no clue about if it had not been written about in some damn comic book. How do you think I feel? I had a chance to do something about the problem and did not because it was morally wrong. I would have become a vigilante or possibly a murderer, but instead due to my lack of action an innocent woman died for no damn reason at all.

You feed the homeless without understanding their nature... you are not part of any solution but are part of the problem. At any given time you can volunteer at a legit homeless outreach center... but oh no we can't have that can we because your a "Super Hero" and that would not satisfy your twisted ego of being the attention whores that you are. You go out after hours to "patrol" to find your Kitty Genovese to save.. but oh no you don't want to be a legitimate part of law enforcement because they are all "corrupt". You know better then them with all your advanced training of reading comic books.

Your entire sub-culture makes me sick to my stomach, with the very few exceptions of a handful of honest people who do know how to correctly do charity work. As for the rest of you pieces of human waste.... get it through your thick heads that you are not freaking super heroes.. you are a mockery of the word hero.

I was pulled back from the brink. Most of you are too stupid to be saved....

Her name was Elise...

2011-03-04T23:57:00.000-08:00

While on patrol... excuse me while I was on my way to the super market I found something that troubled me.

On my stealthy approach to the front door.... while looking out for ninjas and such, I saw a young girl sitting on the ground next to the ATM machine crying. I stopped for a moment and was filled with an emotion of what I can only call disgust for the human race on a whole. I watched people walk by her in a speedy fashion, not even looking at her and pretending she was not there.

I walked up and sat down next to her on the ground and asked her what was wrong? She at first seemed a little startled.. but after I broke the ice with a classic from the Bugs Bunny collection "Did you sit on a tack?" she laughed though her tear stained eyes and started talking to me.

Her name was Elise and she was 15 years old and ran away from home three weeks ago. She had a fight with her parents and felt they did not want her anymore. Her debit card was declined and she was hungry and had no place to go. I am not sure how long we sat there and talked as time was meaningless to me at this point. I took her to the Subway that was adjacent to the supermarket and bought her a meatball sub and a diet soda with some chips.

As she ate we continued to talk, the fight she had was over texting on the phone with a boy.... again my inside RLSV flared up as what a pointless and meaningless argument to have with your child that the end result would cause her to run away. I could not tell if she had any physical violence applied to her being very dirty and ragged looking being on the street for three weeks. I called my intern Sarah to come and assist me.

We took her back to her place and Sarah cleaned her up and talked to her... in some situations women can feel more secure with each other then with men. After finding out she was not abused we asked if we could talk to her parents? She was still very upset with the situation but agreed. After a 8 minute conversation with the mother, who had been scared to death for the last three weeks and had filed a missing persons report, we drove Elise back home.

Both parents were crying and happy to have their child back again. I spoke to the father in private offering the advice to not sweat the small things in life and to remember what it was like when he was that age less the technology. Sarah and I were both thanked many times and hugged. Elise also thanked us for helping her. I smiled and said that is what Super Villains do. She smiled and laughed at me.. she said I was no villain I was her angle... I forced back my tears and cried on the way back home.

And what have you done today RLSH? Have you found your magical rape victim in that alley yet? Worked on your digital logo? Having fun in your upcoming reality shows to "inspire" us little people? Loose the costumes and start being real human beings... no this will not get you on television or the fame you long for.... but you might actually start making a difference in this world.

I know I have just returned from my hiatus... but I am taking another break again. As I feel you the RLSH.. are becoming a lost cause.

The Bar Harbor Batman

2011-03-01T23:59:00.000-08:00

Well this has become interesting. I only became aware of the BHBM after TK posted on his blog if this guy was a RLSH or not?

My first response was no as being a "RLSH" should require a unique persona same as a RLSV (You have no idea on how many "new" RLSV members think they are the second coming of the Joker) this in retrospect was incorrect.... well on the RLSH front. All you tool bags who think you are the new Joker need a serious reality check.

Honestly... you want to go beat the hell out of people who dontate plasma in a poorly made spandex costumes?

After some thought and reflection the words of my RLSV comrade rang true:

---------------
Tothian:

It seems unfair for any of us on the Internet who don't know the guy personally to "decide" or "judge" whether he is or isn't a real life superhero. It just seems stupid.

Heroes aren't dubbed heroes because of a bunch of opinionated individuals on the Internet. I believe it's up to all of the people he may help or protect out on the streets to have their own opinions and perceptions of what they consider heroic, villainous, normal, weird, or whatever.

So, because of that, I see the titles as irrelevant. And as long as he's out trying to protect the people and all that cool stuff, he'll have my respect.
________

I find a new respect for the BHBM and support his work... granted if he gets a cease and desist letter from DC Comics I am afraid he is on his own... united we stand divided we fall.

Where as the RLSH could have embraced this mans message of peace and love they cast him out. I was wrong on my assessment of this person, and I here by formally apologize to The Bar Harbor Batman.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend... I welcome The Bar Harbor Batman to the ranks of the RLSV.

RLSH Mr. Justice & Powerful Girl

2011-02-28T13:20:00.000-08:00

Spotlight: RLSH Phantom Patriot

2011-02-27T14:02:00.000-08:00

Ye gads.... this guy makes The Black Monday Society look like circus clowns!

So for those not up to speed on this wonderful RLSH he spent a little time behind bars after his assault on Bohemian Grove back in 2002. http://articles.sfgate.com/2002-01-24/news/17525248_1_bohemian-grove-women-s-groups-richard-mccaslin

Now his approach was obviously very flawed.. but don't get me wrong going after a group that makes offerings to a 40 foot Owl that speaks with the voice of Walter Cronkite sounds like something I might do. Oh who am I kidding that is on my list of things to do after stealing Archie Bunkers chair from the Smithsonian.

So Phantom Patriot only has a few months left on his probation (one of the conditions on his probation other then staying the hell away from Bohemian Grove, was he was not allowed to wear his costume) and has already been putting feelers out in the RLSH community.

I for one cannot wait until this guy makes his glorious return! The Phantom Patriot deserves to be front and center the next time Kodak does more of his glamour shots.

Bam! Pow! Superhero Groups Clash In an Epic Battle of Good vs. Good

2011-02-24T23:25:00.000-08:00

Bam! Pow! Superhero Groups Clash In an Epic Battle of Good vs. Good

Phoenix Jones Fights Villains With a Taser, But Zetaman Thinks That's None Too Safe

By ASHBY JONES

SEATTLE—Life isn't easy for the self-proclaimed superhero who calls himself "Phoenix Jones, Guardian of Seattle." A 22-year-old day-care worker by day, he dons a black-and-gold costume by night to harass drug dealers and break up street fights.

But he's having a harder time dealing with his latest nemeses: members of the "Real Life Superhero" (RLSH) movement.

Go on patrol for a night with real-life super hero Phoenix Jones and his team. WSJ's Ashby Jones reports from the rainy streets of Seattle.
.This world-wide collection mainly of grown men with names like Zetaman, Knight Owl, Dark Guardian, and Mr. Raven Blade, have taken to grumbling about Mr. Jones, who has recently been getting more publicity than they do, partly because of his aggressive style.

The RLSHers, many of whom stick to charitable works like delivering food to the homeless, are concerned that Mr. Jones's physical approach might not reflect well on the superhero community, which has worked hard to convince people that it isn't just a group of comic-book geeks with inflated notions of their own importance but, rather, a force for good in the world.

"For the first time, we have someone who agrees with our overall purpose but doesn't agree with our methods," says Knight Owl, a Portland, Ore., member of the RLSH world who, like the others, refuses to give out his real name.

"I suppose it was bound to happen, but it's definitely a growing pain within the community."

Mr. Jones, who declined to allow his real name to be published but whose back story checks out, dismisses the criticism. "I may be eccentric, but I'm not crazy," he says. "I really am here to help the people of Seattle."

Real Life Superheroes, who seem to favor masks and dark clothing—sometimes emblazoned with homemade logos (like the Superman "S")—exist in pockets all over the world. Some, like Knight Owl and Thanatos, based in Vancouver, British Columbia, typically focus on charitable activities.

Others, such as New York's Dark Guardian, patrol areas known for drug activity—a bit like the city's old subway-riding Guardian Angels. Dark Guardian shines lights and takes videos to try to deter crime nonviolently, and he makes emergency calls to 911.

"Mostly, they're relatively normal people trying to help out and have a little fun along the way," says Tea Krulos, a Milwaukee writer working on a book about them.

Phoenix Jones is different. In the 10 months since he became prominent, he has shown a willingness to thrust himself into dangerous situations.

A mixed martial-arts fighter, he broke his nose last month while breaking up a fight, and he says he has been shot and stabbed, too. He often travels with a posse, sometimes carries a Taser nightstick and tear gas, and repeatedly has himself been mistaken for a criminal.

"Superhero' Phoenix Jones, top, uses a cell phone to help monitor possible crimes.
.One Friday night, Mr. Jones and several sidekicks—two quiet men called Buster Doe and Pitch Black; a young woman named Blue Sparrow; and a superhero-in-training called Ski Man—spent several hours making the rounds on the streets of Seattle.

Mr. Jones posed for the occasional cellphone photo with revelers outside night spots in several popular neighborhoods. But, he says, the attention "distracts me from my mission."

Outside a bar, Mr. Jones chastised a man for yelling at a downtrodden passerby.

"Let's keep it cool; let's all have a good night," he said to the man, who quickly backed down.

From there, Mr. Jones chatted up late-night loiterers in areas known for drug dealing. "Stay safe tonight," he said. "Stay warm."

Later, the superheroes ran after a swerving car, suspecting a drunk driver, but the car raced away and, alas, they can't fly. Capes, also, are unfashionable in the superhero world: "They get caught on everything," says Mr. Raven Blade.

Little crime-fighting took place that night. "That's the thing," concedes Mr. Jones. "When there's nothing going on, you feel pretty silly in this outfit," he says, referring to his costume, which he says is equipped with the latest body armor.

Detective Mark Jamieson, spokesman for the Seattle Police Department, applauds citizens' willingness to get involved in their communities and says the department has received 911 calls from Mr. Jones.

But he worries about things getting out of hand. "Our concern is that if it goes badly, then we wind up getting called anyway, and we may get additional victims."

It's that kind of scenario that frightens other RLSHers.

"Whether intentionally or not, he's representing the [superhero] community now," says Knight Owl. "And that makes some people nervous."

Mr. Jones says the RLSH group initially resented his quick move into the spotlight, and blackballed him when he later tried to make nice. So Mr. Jones ultimately started his own group, called the Rain City Superheroes. He says the group's mission is decidedly different from the agenda of the RLSH gang.

"Handing out food to the homeless is an entirely worthy thing to do," he says. "But it's not what superheroes do. If you're going to drive a fire truck, people are going to expect you to put out fires. If you dress up like a superhero, people are going to expect you to fight crime."

Phoenix and one of his cohorts, named Buster Doe, make an appearance at The Dreaming comics and games store in Seattle. Last month, in an effort to patch things up, members of the two groups met up in Seattle and went on a late-night patrol of the city.

According to Mr. Jones and others present, the night didn't go entirely smoothly. At a coffee shop following the patrol, Mr. Jones and Zetaman, a Portland superhero, argued over Mr. Jones's approach. Zetaman declined to comment. But on his blog, he recounted telling Mr. Jones: "[A]ll of us are afraid of one day someone is going to get killed and it'll be all over."

Added Zetaman: "I don't need this kind of macho c— in my life and I don't need to prove myself to anyone, least of all to Phoenix Jones and his Rain City Superhero Movement."

The night of the patrol, Zetaman left the group early and went back to his hotel.

Responds Mr. Jones: "I don't see the point in handing sandwiches to homeless people in areas in which the homeless are getting abused, attacked, harassed by drug dealers."

Since then, the two groups—the Rain City Superheroes and the Real Life Superheroes—have pretty much gone their separate ways.

"We're not one giant family," says Knight Owl. "After all, we're a colorful collection of individuals. We're superheroes."

Write to Ashby Jones at ashby.jones@wsj.com

Copyright 2011 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Chatting with: RLSH The Ant

2011-02-21T13:24:00.000-08:00

PK: So whats your deal?
TA: Deal?
PK: Charity hand outs, picking up garbage on the side of the road, going out after midnight with a tazer to zap drunks?
TA: lol, zapping drunks in Wisconsin would disable the whole town...
All of the above actually...volunteer at the food pantry, blankets to the homeless shelter...giving rides to intoxicated people
PK: You are unarmed correct?
TA: Escorting women to their cars on the bar strip
I have a pepper gun, collapsible batons...and 3 black belts in different styles...
Military outfit with hand made custom fiberglass armor and helmet
PK: Neat me too.. one of my belts is western, another has stars on it, and the third has a big silver belt buckle on it.
TA: video and audio recording devices and blinding strobe flashlight
all tied into my iPhone with police scanner app
PK: What do you believe you can accomplish?
TA: along with 3 other RLSHs
More than not doing anything
PK: Good answer.
Why The Ant?
TA: I've been stepped on my whole life...
PK: So are you fighting back for personal beliefs or just a general wish to do good?
TA: I am small in stature yet mighty in strength
Both, I am unemployed and single and want something to help me feel needed in this bad time we live in.
PK: You are aware of the risks involved in this activity?
TA: Of course...I know my town well
I can take a beating and I have common sense to avoid fatal situations
PK: And your associates you patrol with?
TA: Same
They are all skilled and take take a beating as well?
One is a bouncer at a bar...
the other is tall and strong, built...and crazy...lol
I'm not afraid to much...a lil I admit but everyone needs a lil fear
PK: And the female in your group... she can take the hits as well?
TA: I will be training her in self defense this spring and she is so hot that her looks can stop anything
PK: I hope that holds true with a 357 round.
TA: lol
you are very negative
PK: Tough game you have entered into... want it to be sugar coated?
TA: I am practical...not stupid...I am well aware of the risks...I am not a glory hound
PK: Your new... it always begins the same way.
TA: Really
I've trained in Martial arts for 20 years...I can hold my own against 5 men...no problem... without guns
PK: If you do too well you will be targeted.. I am sure you are aware if that?
TA: I will be meeting with the police and letting them know who I am...and this isn't LA...
PK: Drunks, crack heads, and gangs are the same no matter the location.
TA: True, I'd love to debate this with you but I am crating a logo now...gotta run. Thanks for your concern though...:)
PK: Good luck!

RLSH are Frauds

2011-02-20T15:58:00.000-08:00

http://m.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/hero_unwelcome_Zi3u1fwtRpo87vXAiAQfSN

So this is how real heroes are treated in our society?

A man who served his country with honor gets called a racist, and fools in spandex expect a pat on the back every time they hand out a cheese burger?

It however does give some satisfaction to know that the RLSH would most likely be the first to be either enslaved or done away with if there was a tyrannical regime.... because they are so easily brainwashed or simpleminded they would be useful but for nothing else.

Look at history and you will see it played out time and again... they are nothing but lemmings eating the mindless brain food fed to them by the Hollywood machine. Dance for your masters RLSH... give them what they want so you can receive your ultimate reward. Cash in on your "reputation" and be on your television shows, coloring books, posters, be the true prostitutes that you are. You live in a bubble and are excited about it... because you could never survive in the world of reality.

Again.. you are no heroes... just puppets being manipulated by your new master.

Chatting with: RLSH Spirt of Albany

2011-02-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

PK: Do you like the beach?
SOA: Not really, why?
PK: Ok cool... I was thinking of blowing it up.
SOA: The whole beach? That goes pretty much down both entire sides of the country
and all of Hawaii
PK: I am glad you are indifferent... one less RLSH to worry about stopping me.
SOA: You'd need quite a lot of dynamite, nukes, giant death rays, or other evil weapons to do that
PK: Death Bots man.... I got a whole s#it ton of them off Craig's list... traded some tiki lamps.
SOA: S#it, good job! Just do me a favor, spare the beach boys
PK: I know right?
SOA: and john stamos, you can take out jimmy buffet though
PK: Ehhh once you send a Death Bot out there is really no rules... s#it last time they took out a Milk truck and a snow plow... I did not even know Milk Trucks were still around but yet they beat the living tar out of it...
SOA: shucks!
PK: Do you have your own chair in your Large Room of Good?
SOA: I'm not sure what that means, but I have plenty of chairs
PK: Well on our space station (that is a big piece of crap) we have this big table of evil with our own chairs. My chair really sucks as two of the wheels are broken like a sad shopping cart at the Piggly Wiggly
I think I am being screwed over as all the other chairs look fine....
SOA: Thats messed up!
Just go into the room when the other villains are out and switch the chairs around
that'll show 'em
PK: They have our names on the back....
SOA: Break all the chairs when nobody is around. Except for one. He will be blamed and thrown out, and everyone including you will get new chairs, on his tab!
PK: Crimson Nematode has no money... that plan will never work.
SOA: Choose the richest villain as your fall guy
c'mon, you're supposed to be a brilliant super villain, right?
PK: Man there is no Way I am going against Lord Malignance... he would some how reactivate my student loans... and let's not even go into the Comrade CoCoa aspect.
SOA: Well you're smart, you'll figure it out haha
PK: To be honest all you need is like a GED to become a Meta Villain.
SOA: How do you get the funding for your space station?
PK: Hell If I know... it was built before I joined on.
SOA: And the rocket fuel to get up there and such
PK: I think it had something todo with plastic bottles, baking soda, and a garden hose but again that was before my time.... you should ask The White Skull and his perky minion Femur.
Do you miss the McDlt? I do!
SOA: the what?
PK: Sorry... little off track there... Agent Beryllium keeps leaving empty styrofoam McDlt containers on my front walk to A: Remind me I cannot travel through time and to B: Remind me I will never enjoy a McDlt ever again.
SOA: What a mean guy! Sick your doom bot s or whatever on him. Thats what I would do if I was a cartoon villain
PK: I will tell him you send your love!

Detroit's New RLSH

2011-02-17T09:57:00.000-08:00

And were back..... Ah what a wonderful vaction! I made some new super buddy friends and have found out some really interesting information... more on that later BWHAHAHAHA!

Before the pain let's start with some amazing news. Detroit is finally getting a RLSH that is actually worth a damn... ROBOCOP!

http://jalopnik.com/#!5761947/group-raises-50k-for-detroit-robocop-statue

Yep it may just be a statue... a fifty thousand dollar statute, but I have a feeling the motor city will be sleeping a little better with their new defender guarding the city.

This in fact could be the greatest RLSH ever! His suit cost a fortune and he will not do a damn thing.

I would like to thank Pink Eye for crapping up my blog with kitty cats while I was on hiatus. Revenge will be swift and deadly... now go get me a coffee!

Please Stand By.....

2011-02-17T00:14:00.001-08:00

Almeratron by Eddsworld

2011-02-13T16:14:00.000-08:00

The Mean Kitty Song

2011-02-07T13:51:00.000-08:00

Happy National Corn Chip Day!

2011-01-30T11:11:00.000-08:00

Beware the Super Villain!

2011-01-24T15:08:00.000-08:00

He-Man's Death by Skeletor's Evil Kitty Staff Thingie of Doom!

2011-01-20T21:28:00.000-08:00

Skeletor rockin' out with a Kitty Headed Staff was awesome/funny. The fact that the kitty staff of doom zaps some kind of mystical lightning that incinerates He-Man as well as decapiting him just goes to show all villians need kitties in some shape or form.

LOL Cats Super Hero!

2011-01-19T19:33:00.000-08:00

RLSH Phoenix Jones on SNL

2011-01-17T16:20:00.000-08:00

I guess any attention is good attention for these guys. The beloved new comer Phoenix Jones got highlighted on Saturday Night Lives Weekend Update, after the punch to the nose report early last week.

Seth Meyers comment on our hero, "It seems evil has figured out Phoenix Jones's only weakness: weakness."

It can be viewed at the 39:19 minute mark on the NBC web site.

Conjunctivitis in your face

2011-01-16T18:51:00.000-08:00

Hello, I am Pink Eye. I'm not a RLSH or V or W X Y Z. I am just a person.

I will be guest hosting Poop Knife's blog Evil Supreme Pizza for a little while, as he needs and deserves a well earned break.

I am one of the interns mentioned last year. If you want to be mad at anything in this world, it should be that I actually got half of a college credit for reading blogs and listening to blog talk radio.

I am seriously still damaged from that and seeking therapy.

Now the Stinky Silverware asks that I help out with this blog so I will more than likely post random pictures that involve cats. Considering some of you morons out there think he's a gay kitty it should fit right in with the theme.

I am not a fan of the RLSH, I just think it's a fan club for attention whores and vigilantes. If you want to do a good deed then that is all fine and well. There is no rule book stating that volunteers should dress in tights, wear a mask, and prostrate themselves for the media. There are plenty of normal sane people who would not get a second look or acknowledgement, who go about doing good deeds because they feel it the right thing to do as a citizen and human being. They do no expect anyone to say thank you or tell them what a good person they are. They get satisfaction just knowing they helped.

Oh, and before the grand fun begins with the "It's just Poop Knife pretending to be someone else" I did have a brief chat on the phone with Agent Beryllium. I know villains might not make for the best character reference, so I may call in to one of the blog talk radio programs in the near future. Not Creature Feature, as the host just seems to think any female that calls in is an opportunity to make cheap sexual advances.

Let's start with some music

2011-01-16T12:46:00.000-08:00

Gone Fishing

2011-01-15T00:35:00.000-08:00

When in Seattle

2011-01-10T18:37:00.000-08:00

Ah Seattle! Besides having a relic from the worlds fair this great city has many wonderful attractions for any up an coming RLSH to enjoy! Personally I would love to move there as this seems to be the hub of all up and coming capes. Sigh... I just have drunk bmx wearing, cat mutilating, member of the white trash society to play with. If it was not for the temporal restraining order from Agent Beryllium I would be out wandering the streets of Jet City in an instant.

Fun places to go:

The Dreamer: location U-district 5226 University Way Northeast Seattle, WA 98105

All your comic book needs for research on costumes, catching up on geek news, fabulous T-shirts and more! They even have a secret door that leads to the bathroom! You never know who could be back there?

Po Dogs Capitol Hill: location U-District http://podogs.com/

Want some gourmet hot dogs cheap? Then Po Dogs is the place for all RLSH members to fill their fat little belly's with delicious wieners! Just don't come crying to me when some fella in the back with a volcano head zaps you with a death ray!

Alderwood Mixed Martial Arts: location 2006 196th ST SW STE#109 Lynnwood, WA

After you have plumped up on hot dogs you are going to need a place to shed those extra pounds, and maybe even learn some KICK-ASS moves to take down the bad guys! Well this is the place for you. Reasonable rates and get some one-on-on training with mixed martial arts legend Benjamin "Flat Top" Fodor. Tell him I sent you to get that extra experience!

Have a great time in the pacific northwest and look out for worm holes!

Chatting with: RLSH Phoenix Jones

2011-01-04T17:55:00.000-08:00

PK: You are like Batman right?
VJ: kinda
PK: Is your suit all armored up?
VJ: yes
PK: It kinda looks like Handcock's... did you see that movie?
VJ: yeah love that movie
PK: Why do you wear a ski mask? It makes you look like a bad guy.
VJ: i dont i have new suit
PK: Did you useto be the Black Knight?
VJ: no but he is awesome i know him
PK: Is it ok If I call you Velvet Jones? I think the Phoenix title is tied to directly in to the Marvel comics character.... Velvet Jones sounds so bad ass.. like you are taking back the streets with style!
VJ: haha if you want to i will let you but phoenix has a special meaning to me that i cant explain
PK: Sure sure I am betting it is something special like a rebirth or reaffirmation of your soul to bring positive change to the world around you or some such.
VJ: no its mine sons middle name its my rebirth was the birth of him and when he got hurt by this citys scum i decided to burn all the criminals down re birthing seattle
PK: Nice.. very good orgin story... So why did you chose to become a masked avenger to act on this moment of revelation?
VJ: i wanted revenge but when that subsided i wanted to help other people so what happend to me doesn't happen to them
PK: How well would you say your working relationship is with your peers in the RLSH community?
VJ: bad they hate me
PK: Why?
VJ: because im hard on bad guys and im close to a vigilante
PK: Do you carry a firearm?
VJ: no way tazer and pepper spray and my fist
PK: Well that makes you less of a vigilante if you are unarmed. I suppose others might question your costume activities based on what your actions are when you come across a "crime". Are you sure you are helping or are you still venting your anger out on people who hurt your child?

Phoenix Jones is offline.

Muppets with People Eyes

2010-12-31T12:12:00.000-08:00

Sigh... Still Broken Hearted!

2010-12-26T19:22:00.001-08:00

Chatting with: Spirt of Albany

2010-12-25T11:25:00.000-08:00

I like this RLSH, he is a fun guy. Seriously debating on making him my Arch.

PK: You should hook a deal... become the "American Spirit of Albany" Smoke cigs and be a bad ass....
SOA: Thats a great idea. Think they'll be down, and hook me up with free cartons?
PK: Hell yeahs! You could beat the crap out of people with cancer or something and make it ironic! You might have to dress like an Indian though...
SOA: Well I don't know about that, but cigarettes are expensive now, and if I could get sponsored and get free cigarettes I'd definitely change my name
PK: Awww man... get a side kick and call him "Lucky Strike".... he could swoop in and punch a shop lifter and you would be all like "Ha there is my Lucky Strike!".... epic! I see big things for you in the future!
SOA: Well, someone in my group got a new costume he was considering renaming himself lucky strike so its funny you mention that... Free cigarettes all around!
PK: Man.. get like a hot black chick too she could be Lady Menthol or Virginia Slim or some such..
SOA: No way. Virginia Slim sounds like a white prostitute from a trailer park.
PK: Hmmm you right... what about another side kick named "Patch"?
SOA: or the obvious "Marlboro Man"
PK: Camel Crush... she squeezes people and then pops and goes all menthol on them.
SOA: I love it!
PK: Might need to round the team out with someone who dips, and a wise older member with a pipe but I see pure gold here kid! The sky is the limit!

Merry Ubermas from Overlord

2010-12-23T22:56:00.000-08:00

The Comedy Stylings of Victor Von Doom

2010-12-23T20:09:00.000-08:00

Ubermas Tip #342

2010-12-21T21:23:00.000-08:00

Ubermas is here!

2010-12-20T23:35:00.001-08:00

It is here... Ubermas is happening right now!!! Look at the sky!

All is right with the world and a grand Ubermas to all!

Oh Batman!

2010-12-20T19:17:00.000-08:00

Chatting with: RLSH Captain Ozone

2010-12-20T01:07:00.000-08:00

I think I feel somewhat violated after this chat session. I believe I will just let White Skull and Crimson Nematode keep Captain Ozone to themselves.

Is this guy for or against the environment... I am confused?

PK: BWAHAHAH Captain Ozone! I just peed in the river.. take that!
CO: That's only natural, Nature Boy!
PK: Nooooo foiled again! Curse you Captain Ozone!
CO: Just make sure that you bring a shovel and unbleached TP with you when you have to go BM in the woods.
How many times a day to you go BM, Jebediah?
An apple a day helps!
PK: I might have to dig a pretty big hole... I just ripped off like 6 Hostess Twinkies from some kids... it was cool.. I was all like BWAHAHA and they were all like "Oh no my Hostess Twinkies!"
CO: LOL
What a bunch of cry babies.
PK: I know like seriously right? I don't even like these damn things.... rules of villainy suck sometimes.
CO: You should crawl down some chimneys this year and steal a few of the kids' presents.
They don't need any NEW toys anyways.
PK: No way... I saw Gremlins... I would die in a Santa Suit after breaking my neck... gross
CO: They should be downsizing and playing with used, recycled toys this years, the little pricks.
PK: I fondly remember my 4th Ubermas celebration.. I was given a broken glass jar full of rusty nails... ah the memories!
CO: You were privileged.
I got a paper bag full of dog s#it that was lit on fire on my porch on Ubermas.
PK: Well at least it was ecologically sound.
CO: The flames were emitting sulfur oxides.
I want revenge...but who to?
On the lighter side of things, did you get your Xmas shopping done?
PK: Ubermas... oh yes.... I threw rocks at squirrels for six hours.... I think I hurt my arm.
CO: I shot a couple of squirrels when I went quail hunting last summer and I forgot to throw them on the barbecue with my trout and quail, so I tossed them in the lake in the morning. They're just invasive little pests anyways.
PK: That's neat... we have a lot in common.
CO: Indeed.
Only I hate you.
Just joshing LOL
YOu're a dastardly man, so I have to beware.
PK: Well I am evil...
CO: Yeah, well I'm a sociopath.
PK: Do you want to be my BFFL?
CO: Does that have something to do with puke?
What is BFFL?
PK: I am not sure.. you are like Swedish or something... I forget all those old Captain Ozone Comics blurr together... I think you kicked the crap out of a lumberjack once...
CO: No, I sodomized a lumberjack though.
He had pretty, perky pink cheeks.
I'm half Greek ya know.
And half Irish.
PK: I'm half n half with 2 sugars
CO: Lumps of sugar?
Oh, I get you. Uh-huh.
PK: Have you ever read my evil rantings... I am good at that being a class 3 meta villain and all...
CO: Send me your URL, Bubba.
PK: You like it forsure! I am like the Dear Abby of evil and s#it!
http://evilsupremepizza.blogspot.com/
CO: Can I write to you sometime? I need help.
PK: OMG! I was thinking like the same thing!
CO: I've seen your website before. You wrote some nasty things about me a couple of times. Just for that, I'm going to sodomize you.
PK: What like totally no way! Iz never even talked about youse except for that blog talk radio show where I said I wanted to make you cry by not recycling!
CO: Bulls#it! I'm stepping out for a smoke
PK: Oh no! I get it.. you read my April 1st post and thought it was real... that was April Foolz dude!
Smoking outside hurts the Ozone.

Captain Ozone is offline

Ubermas is Nigh

2010-12-19T21:38:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful time of the season to be in the dark, evil, and macob mind that makes being a Meta Villain so rewarding.

I have made my list of demands written with quill on 200 year old parchment paper to the Dark God Krelm to offer quick painless deaths to all my enemies.

I put all the mail box flags up on my street to let others celebrate the holiday with me.. and I hate the mail man.

I have mailed off my no stamp required envelope's to my revenuers with holiday cards and various expired coupons from the minute saver... still hate the mail man.

Five Cornish game hens have been secured for "The Night of the Hen" and will be devoured as the bell tolls midnight on the climax of Ubermas eve.

This might in fact be the bestest Ubermas ever yet!

To everyone a malevolent Ubermas and I hate each and every one of you.

-PK

Batman is Fabulous

2010-12-16T14:22:00.001-08:00

Broken Hearted...

2010-12-07T23:03:00.000-08:00

I will be taking some time off to emotionally recover from this experience. Ash Grey.. you broke my heart!

AG: cats in the cradle
PK: Silver Spoons was a tv show!
How ye fare, well? Good hero?
AG: that old guy was one ugly dude
PK: I believe you are thinking of Different Strokes.
AG: could be, I am tired
PK: It's ok.. I understand... so what's up safety pup?
AG: justdrama all over the place, what about you?
PK: Just keeping children in line... normal stuff.... ohh I found a dollar bill on the ground today!
AG: keep it?
PK: Sure did! Was on the side of the road by a side walk.
I did a happy dance and everything!
AG: sweet, candy bar time
PK: Wow... yer good... I actually purchased a Skor Bar.
AG: SKOR!!!
as in score!!
PK: LOL
That was funny!
So what's up with your drama? Wanna talk?
AG: no, my face is funny, the skor is serious
PK: Unless you just wanted to drop a Harry Chapin song title at me?
AG: taxi
PK: It's Always Sunny
AG: cant rain all the time
PK: Throw momma from the Train?
AG: right turn Clyde
PK: Is your little image a skull or something?
AG: it is my mask (partially)
PK: Oh.. ok looks kinda like a half skull to me.. like a photo reverse with the colors.
AG: I can see that. cool observation., but no, just my mask.modified from an old batman mask
PK: Hmmmm... BWAHAHAH! Really a Batman mask? That's funny!
AG: kinda is.
PK: Hmmm wheels are turning.... you could reformat and become a RLSV know as "Black Death".. very cool!
Do a plague theme!
Big black 1970's car... lot's of Rob Zombie music.. bad ass!
AG: I have a friend that is RLSV and does that kind of thing
PK: Are you cheating on me? Are you seeing another RLSV on the side? I want to know!
AG: yes. but by rights I am cheating on him. we have known each other since 5th grade
PK: I am only into monogamy... I am not sure if I can take this swinging life style of yours! Does he even know about me?
AG: nope, your the other one, lol.
PK: I think we need to take some time off from this relationship... I need to think about things...
AG: if you want, but I have other Rlsv friends that would like to meet you, haha
Ima swingin rlsv all over the place
you ok?

Poop Knife is offline

I know what you know but you don't know what I know to a common point of understanding... is that my hat?

2010-11-28T01:52:00.000-08:00

Not sure if this was a "real" conversation or just some master undertaking by the Thunder Hawks to probe my mind. Either way this conversation did happen... name protected under the "nah nah stick your head in doo doo" act of 1954.

Pk: Hi!
New: hello there
Pk: WHo the heck are you?
New: i'm new
I just discovered the rlsh community
Pk: Well then... welcome to the crazy train... my name is Professor Marvel!
New: thank you!
Pk: Do you like Tacos?
New: I feel like I belong
yes, I like tacos
Pk: Good.... we all do! If you did not that would have become a problem.
New: haha
I take it you're a RLSV
Pk: Who me? Nah no way bro... I am a midget trapped in a horse!
Ahhh no but ya got me... I am a RLSV.
New: haha. well you're the first RLSV I've talked with
Pk: Really no way! Crap... I should have been doing more BWAHAHAHA stuff....
New: have you thwarted any superhero efforts lately?
Pk: I thinks we need to know a little a little bit more about you.... hero! So what's your thing?
New: I plan to start with charity work, maybe do some cleaning up of graffiti. I have to thwart the vandals.
Thwart violence if I see any
Pk: So you are going to go down and volunteer at a homeless outreach shelter? Don't mess with Graffiti... the Geist and others can tell you about that.
New: whatever stuff I can find
I'll have to ask Geist about that then
I haven't tried to do it before
Pk: Who makes Graffiti?
tick tock hero....
New: the graffitist
and gangs
Pk: Mmmm sorry most of the time that is gangs marking territory.... oh good you got it!
So what happens when you remove a gang tag?
New: I presume they get pissed
Pk: Is that good or bad?
New:I can see where you're going with this
Pk: Are we learning?
New: Indeed.
Pk: So.. how do you have graffiti? It is going to happen right?
New: graffiti? it seems like a neverending problem
Pk: Yes it is.. but if there was a place it could be done.. in a safe environment.. it would cease to be a problem.
New: true enough. but I don't think the people responsible would do it if there was a proper place for it.
it would cease to be fun
Pk: http://www.knowledgerush.com/kr/encyclopedia/Graffiti/
New: thanks for the link. I must read up on this.
Pk: Grass roots movements... take your problem, make others aware, and find a peaceful solution.
And you don't need a mask, or a code name to do it either!
New: thanks for the advice
isn't it against your nature to help superheroes, or is it all part of a larger, more elaborate scheme?...
Pk: Take or leave what you want... it is always your choice.
New: a true statement. thanks for the tips though, seriously.
Pk: Still hate you though.... hero!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
You will rue many a day!
New: Justice and Truth will prevail.
I'm out...until next time, villain

Please don't club me in the head!

2010-11-04T21:44:00.000-07:00

Damnit RLSH you know better then this. Yeah sure why not... hand craft a metal pipe to whap someone in the head that you believe is a wrong doer! Nothing wrong with that what so ever.

Not like you are going out with code names, and protective gear looking to impose your own personal ideas of what you view as a crime and punishment is.

As normal support on the "Beating someone in the head with a home made club" idea was over the top!

-------------------------
Voodoo Rlsh's Photos - Armory
Fast, strong, billy. Easy to make

Metatron Arc Angel, Skyler Nichols and Rlsh DarkSpartan like this

RedHammer Rlsh what is it bro
Kieran 'Nikoli' Herman its a billycane.
Voodoo Rlsh A Billy is a class of weapon. Examples of billies are asps nightsticks batons and blackjacks. It's just a non-lethal stunning blunt weapon that's very painful ;)
Kieran 'Nikoli' Herman I just call em all billycanes. :D
RedHammer Rlsh nice, how did ya make it, is it easy to hide incase of the coppers
Voodoo Rlsh I keep it concealed. It I used a drum stick. I turn it upside down and wrap it with duct tape. I used random pieces of scrap plastic under the tape to shape the handle.
RedHammer Rlsh wicked
Blue Rlsh I'd stick to the pepper spray and tasers.
Voodoo Rlsh Tonight I'm finishing a taser glove. So I can wear my normal gloves but it can stun ;)
Kieran 'Nikoli' Herman gotta love little inovations.
Voodoo Rlsh Yea haha
RedHammer Rlsh ive tried that but it was either 2 weak er 2 bulky, how did u do urs
Arsenul Rlsh I have two drum sticks I might make a pair of clubs
Arsenul Rlsh If I sent them to you could you make it?

------------------

Well nice to see Master Legend approves of this fun RLSH fashion accessory.. oh and its easy to conceal from the police... that is just nifty as well. And why do you want to carry something on you that you would want to hide from law enforcement... oh yeah that's right... BECAUSE YOU ARE COMMITTING A CRIME!

If anyone who stumbles across these blogs has ever been attacked and beaten by a spandex clad lunatic please let me know. Depending on the location of said attack authorities can be informed of costumed vigilantes in your area.

Operators are standing by.

Mexico has Enough Problems

2010-10-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

Well I Just love when I get friend requests from people who do not know my work.

I am not sure what the hell this is... but given Mexico's past and present status this is most likely not even a blip on the radar.

Here is my fabulous conversation with this fine RLSH after I accepted the request... I protected his name under the "I don't play with foreign retards on the Internet act of 1998"

PK: Who are you?
Mexican RLSH: ***, are you a rlsh?
PK: No.. I am RLSV
Mexican RLSH is offline

Sigh... T-shirts and a book will be on sale shortly... just send me the 4.5 million dollars to my pay pal account that I swear I will not spend on that Hyper Drill from the Consortium of Evils last Craig's List advertisement.

Chatting with: RLSH Skyman

2010-09-22T00:13:00.001-07:00

Here is a new fun feature I have started. Since clearly I am a moron and know absolutely nothing about anything, I was told I should get to know what the RLSH was all about... beyond spandex and putting ketchup on dead cats.

So here is technically part two in the new "Chatting with" series.

PK: Do you like Skybars?
SM: Never heard of em?
PK: Oh..ok just wondering.
SM: What are they?
PK: It's an old fashion candy bar
PK: That might be good marketing for you... get an endorsement deal.
SM: Haha... but I do like the idea of maybe including them in my homeless outreach efforts.
PK: "Have a Skybar from Skyman!"
SM: Right on!! I like the way you think!
PK: Really? Gosh thanks!
SM: So are you an RLSV?
PK: I sure am... class 3 too!
PK: I even have my own chair on the Damocles!
PK: Pretty freaking sweet!
PK: Have you met Zetaman?
SM: I am very good friends with both Zetaman and his wife Apocolypse Meow
PK: Ohh ohh tell me I have always imagined he smells like Watermelon Jolly Ranchers... please tell me its true!
SM: heh... Jolly Ranchers... thats a new one on me... I thought he kinda smelled like well.... dadelions and tulips
SM: And if this get attributed back to me... well, You sir are a fiend!
PK: Mallow cups... Zagnut bars, Good and Plenty? Any of those ring a bell?
PK: I bet Meow smells like black liquorice and berma shave.
SM: She does have a pleasent smell
SM: I think she is a goddess among RLSH women
PK: Wow! Can I quote you on that?
SM: I hold true to that and kept telling her that this past weekend...
SM: I dont care if she thinks Im nuttier that a Good n Plenty!!
SM: Im crazy I tell ya! Crazy like a fox!
PK: Yeah... but clearly have no understanding of candy... you do know what a Hershey bar is?
SM: Your right... Im not a candy bar afficianado
SM: I probably got that reference wrong.
SM: But eh! Atleast Im trying here
PK: Damnit man... you need to work on this if you are going to be endorsing SkyBars!
SM: LMAO.... you sir, are very correct!
SM: So now I shall twaddle off to Hershey, PA on my next vacation to learn all about them!
PK: The whole town smells like chocolate!
SM: I know right?
SM: Im sure you would like to accompany me on said field trip
PK: You sick bastard I am diabetic! You are trying to kill me!
SM: How was I to know Jeb!
SM: Still... you gotta admit death by chocolate... it wouldnt be that bad of a way to go
SM: Hell, Id even take that as a good way to die!
SM: Actually, it was YOU who was on the candy bar rant... I just tried to join in!
PK: Sure.... right what ever.... finally get to talk to a RLSV and you already want to kill me.... I see how it is.

Skyman is offline.

Amazonia Wants to Steal my Blood!

2010-08-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

I was recently contacted via a vast modern social networking site by the RLSH member Amazonia Alkidike trying to lure me into her clever trap.

Apparently on October 2nd, 2010 in Ocala Florida she will be involved in a blood harvesting plot.

Momma Knife raised no fool.. clearly Amazonia is a Vampire RLSH. A hybrid hero is not unheard of as currently I am arching Molly and Dolly a pair of Real Life Mermaids.

Being a class 3 Meta Villain I was very aware of the Alkidike ruse to deprive me of my beloved red life source. In this time of strife in my world I reached out to one of the only humans on the globe who could help me... a Real Life Super Hero.

After many a frantic message I got a response from the one and only Silver Sentinel.

PK: Amazonia Alkidike wants to steal my blood!!!

SS: Hihowareya
PK: doinggreatyourself?
SS: Day off.. took a nap.. have to stay up all night so I don't screw up my sleep pattern.
PK: Ah, i do understand that one. I wuz fishin this weekend.
SS: Catch anything?
PK: 4 fish (all returned to the water) and 7 blue crabs that I boiled alive then ate.
SS: I had crabs once.. a small steel comb and some special shampoo.. all gone.
SS: Oh oh.. seafood crabs Yeah.. don't like those either
PK: hey crabs are crabs... boil and eat!
PK: Amazionia will not have my blood! I think she is a Vampire.
SS: She just wants to have an event people will come to.
PK: That is crap, she wants to my blood!
SS: You should drive a wooden steak though her heart.
PK: I think that may be a bit drastic, you should attend and have your picture taken with her... if she does not appear in the photo then she is a vampire.
SS: I am afraid I cannot travel at this time.
PK: I understand... she will not take your blood either... you are wise.

Spotlight: RLSH Miss Fit

2010-08-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

Good Golly... I could be for the first time at a loss for words.

So here is one of our newcomers on the RLSH scene Miss Fit. Other then looking like a human wrecking machine, what wonderful things can this dynamic woman add to the already unique melting pot that is the Real Life Super Hero sub culture?

Well howabout being involved in the adult entertainment industry? Yep our newest "hero" has her own adult page http://denisemasino.com/ (note this first page linked is somewhat safe but if you click and proceed further do so at your own risk).

Bravo! You guys sure do pick who you want to be in your little club ever so carefully don't cha? So now little Billy and Suzie along with finding out the gross intolerance of their favorite heroes can some day aspire to become a "hero" just like Miss Fit.

Please pardon me.... I must now go scrub my eyes with bleach.

Spotlight: RLSH Crossfire the Crusader

2010-08-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

Ah what a fine specimen we have here.

Crossfire is a man of the cloth... and just like most religious zealot's he does not practice what he preaches. All is well when he is telling you what to do but question his actions and feel the wrath.

For someone that likes to interact with villainy one would think he would have a thicker skin? He posted a silly blog on June 20th poking a little fun at the RLSV sub culture. I got a chuckle out of this and honored him with a post (even though he totally insulted Malvado by using a picture of Zr. Zaius who is an Orangutan and not a picture of Urko or Ursus who are Apes).

When in trouble I always reach out to RLSH members... that is there job after all. I had a unique member asking me to arch them. I am evil not a monster, to arch this individual would have been needlessly cruel. I asked Mr. Fire to help (which he eventually did) but what was his fantastic advice to me.... to pretend to be Comrade Cocoa. Yep folks I should pretend to be a dog... wow!

In my appreciation for the eventual help I received I decided to honor Mr. Fire with another glorious post on his blog. I found his "Pennies from Heaven" post very amusing so I posted a link to something else I thought was amusing involving pennies:

http://funnyordie.com/m/tjz

I guess pennies coming from God is OK but from ones ass is not.

So after my post was removed by him I went about my business.... then after posting in an unrelated area on the interweb...on an unrelated topic.. I get a direct response from Mr. Fire.

"Its so easy for haters to hide behind cartoon pictures and false names online to spew their venom...its just as easy to block their silly behinds and let them swim in their own vomit...just saying"

Spew Venom and swim in vomit.... gross.... so much for forgiveness and Christan love. Now believe it or not I am able to pull Bible verses out of my ass.. kind of like pennies. My response to Mr. Fire:

" Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone? Luke 5:21"

Hmmm... guess getting what you give touched a nerve, and Mr. Fire said:

"Jesus said to his followers that if a city does not accept you to shake the dust off your feet as you leave...no sense in giving time and effort to senseless arguments with bitter people...Its not about forgiving sins or not forgiving sins...Its about refusing to get caught up in drama...If they want to talk sensibly I have no issues, but the ones who spew bile with every word can seek another outlet because i have not the time for it."

Now that is one hell of a Bible quote... I guess it must be somewhere in the back? So what is this lesson? If someone mocks you cast them out? I was able to laugh at your jokes Mr. Fire... don't play with the forces of evil if you cannot take the consequences.

Now let's have a bit of fun... Crossfire has a big burning cross on his chest. So let's use some "Jingles logic" if I have an anti Semitic email address but have never said anything anti Semitic and Cross Fire has a burning cross on his chest...ahhh he is a Klansman!

**Bonus Round!** Crossfire the Crusader is also the master of voices. Our first interaction many months ago I was accused of being another blogger that goes by the name of Lavender Leopard. Due to his grand skills of deduction many a RLSH believes I am now LL as well..... sure why not I am also Agent Beryllium's goggles, Silver Sentinel's Beard, and Comrade Cocoa's hat.

What is Evil?

2010-08-19T14:02:00.001-07:00

I asked 8 different RLSH members from across the board what their views were on good and evil. Of those eight, six responded. Three questions were asked:

Question One: What is evil?

Question Two: So if no direct harm is done to others.... but knowing that ones actions may hurt others... is this evil?

Question Three: Could the same be said for Good as well?

Treesong

1.I think evil has something to do with harming others. Really, I think it has to do with falling out of harmony with the positive potential that lies within you. When you are self-aware enough to hear that voice telling you the kind, compassionate, honest thing to do, and yet you don't follow it because you would rather take advantage of others for your own gain, that is evil.

2.Hmmm not sure what you mean. I think if you know it may harm people, and there's no good reason to risk that, then it may be at least a little evil.

3. A lot of philosophical questions tonight... :) I guess that if you know something has a chance of helping people, and you do it, then that's at least a little good, even if it was a small act.

Silver Sentinel

1.Evil is that which brings harm to self or others. By its very nature it causes pain and suffering.

2. If you know your actions may be harmful to others, yet continue to do them, then you are engaged in wrongful behavior. If your intention is to purposely cause harm (even if only potentially) and you continue to act.. Then yes, you are doing evil.

A person may believe whatever they want to, but if they are "purposeful" in their behavior, and such behavior is potentially harmful, then they are engaging in evil.

It is the habit of rationalizing away the intention, that people use to excuse their behavior. They say that evil people never see themselves as evil.. but I believe that they know better.

3. Absolutely not. If Good intentionally commits acts of harm and then rationalizes it.. then Good is wrong and must attone. Good must not use Evil methods.

Unfortunately good people often resort to evil to overcome problems. But at least Good will attempt to make up for and pay for its sins. Evil does no such thing.

Red Voltage

1. Evil is doing something to harm someone else in any way shape or form, whether its physically or mentally, and its doing the act out of revenge, jealousy, or for no reason at all. That's kinda what I think it is.

2. (Waiting for reply)

3. (Not asked yet)

Amazoina Alkidike

1. What is evil? To me evil is a force that will do whatever it takes to effect an outcome in it's favor and cares nothing of anyone or anything. That it will betray or destroy it's own family or kind just to get what it wants.

For the record, I do not believe that there is total evil in the world.

2. (Waiting for reply)

3. (Not Asked Yet)

Dc's Guardian

1. Things that are destructive.

2. this would depend if you feel there is an absolute. . .i believe there is evil in the world. . .someone could what if the situation to death. . .and always find a way to say it's not causing real harm. . .at least directly. . .but if someones got to go down that rabbit hole. . .it leads me to beleive the person knows they are doing wrong. . .and merely finding ways to excuse it. . .if you believe there is no absolute then you can always excuse actions out of convienyance. . .you are putting the question as if they know it will hurt others. . .just not directly. . .that in itself says something. . .

3. yes it can. . .but the question to you is this. . .with both sides in this situation. . .is it better to stay on the sidelines. . .or to at least try what you feel is the right way to go. . .

Mr. Jack (Note I did not feel the need to ask Mr. Jack Questions 2 or 3 as he seemed to answer them already on his first response.)

1. I am inclined to believe, much as I do about many things, that evil is innate. That is to say, objective. I will give some background first to root it.

I believe that the world we live in is completely objective. The issue is that people themselves are beings of pure subjectivity. They live in this world of absolute reality, but their own interpretations and subjectivity blur it, often beyond all comprehension. This is a huge and irreconcilable issue, and one which people tend to ignore.

I used to say that good and evil are absolute terms, rooted in the objective world. But since I have come to terms with what really is going on, I have changed that belief greatly, also a by product of that revelation of subjectivity.

Good and evil, like all things man made, are subjective creations imposed upon objectivity. They are therefor nearly impossible to define on a general basis. You can give estimations however. Killing is generally perceived as an evil act, and while I would like to think of it as absolutely evil, that is my own bias talking. The universe does not have an opinion or a moral compass. Man does. And so death in the universe is not evil, it just is. Just like everything else. Man gives it meaning, and that meaning is often that it is evil.

On this theory, the world is simple to understand, because really, there is very little to understand and find out. The laws of physics, the development of the universe, but these are rarely questions of why. Why is reserved for questions concerned with subjectivity, therefor man, as the universe is so objective it does not actually have any why to speak of. It is again, just is.

If you are following, which I assume you are since you are rather intelligent gathering from your blogs and sarcasm (wit is a sign of wisdom in my book) I think I can speak plain. Evil is whatever you make it to be. It is an unfortunate thing in some ways, but in others, liberating. Evil is defined as whatever a person defines it to be. You could say that you are a supreme being of evil and the most incarnate vestige of it. That is your definition of it, and it stands.

There is, however, a contention to be had with this. That is the power of group subjectivity. You see, if many completely separate and subjective sources identify one thing as being something, it becomes much more powerful and real. It is one thing for you to call yourself the most evil supreme being of all time. It is quite another for 1,000 people to do so. This, this subjective collectivity of definition, is actually what I believes the definition of what power is. The more power, the more agreed upon subjectivity, the more real and accepted something is, for instance you reign as supreme evil overlord.

In this light we can see that evil is completely subjective, and therefor without definition. But we can also see, as with all things, that if subjective investigations are made and all agree upon certain definitions, we can make the completely subjective nature of such things as evil a powerful and real force.

-------------

I would like to thank all those that responded to my questions. I will update this post if I hear from those who have not replied back currently.

TBSDIF: Episode 1

2010-08-17T15:39:00.000-07:00

Why don't you hate me too?

2010-08-15T14:13:00.001-07:00

Alright so your a RLSH, you have your silly costume and a set of lofty goals on how you are going to fix all the worlds problems. So the only thing missing in your life (besides common sense) is to find that perfect RLSV to become your arch.

Just as most RLSH members are unique so are the RLSV. You just can't go out all willy-nilly and start picking fights with everyone you come into contact with... there are rules about this sort of thing.

First find a villain that you are compatible with. This is a little harder then in the comic world due to the lack of superhuman powers and abilities. Make sure your arch will be able to challenge you on a regular basis... if your enemy cannot make you think your relationship is doomed from the start.

Know what you are getting into before you start your courtship. If Aqualad went after the Joker no one should be surprised when they find him filleted and hanging from a hook at the local fish mongers. Out of state arching is highly recommend. If you are already paranoid enough to wear a costume and conceal your identity having someone close by is not going to work out. Every time you hear a strange noise at 3am your going to go into freak out mode thinking your arch is attacking your Super Cave.

Once you have found that special someone remember it may not be an exclusive relationship. Your arch most likely will still see other heroes on the side. This is not your fault and you should not beat your self up over it, nor be upset at the other hero in the picture. Perhaps do something to encourage more attention from your villain or team up with other said hero.

Never be afraid to express your true feelings to your arch. Villainy thrives on making heroes miserable. Let them know you appreciate the time and effort they are putting into making your life a living hell.

With these simple helpful suggestions I am sure you will be finding someone to hate you in no time. Good luck!

At the Movies

2010-08-14T23:30:00.000-07:00

It is funny how events unfold. No matter what side of the fence you are on if you do not feel some compassion for the opposing force in each game you play, that does not make you a monster....just unfeeling.

Krampus the scourge of blogtalk radio, the Christmas Demon, the man of 999 voices, the singer of songs, and vagabond of the ethereal plane is still flesh and blood like all others in the mortal coil.

I would here by like to offer not so much an olive branch but a chance to come to a mutual point of understanding with the man, myth, and monster.

As mentioned on the current Creature Feature episode 09/14/10 I would like to meet up and partake in the human bonding ritual known as "movie night" with the one known as Krampus. I have asked "villain" Mlavado SV if he would like to partake and got a "Sounds Groovy" reply.

So..... Dear Krampus, would you like to go see a movie with us to review on your show? We can talk about other things if you wish. Malvado SV and myself are cheap dates so you need to buy the pop corn, milk duds, and Jujube's... and maybe provide quarters for the Mrs. Pacman machine in the lobby. I am more of a Q-Bert man but Malvado did issue a challenge to me and I do take those seriously.

Spotlight: RLSH The Blue Blaze

2010-08-13T16:03:00.000-07:00

Ah I do love it when a cape makes the news.

http://democratherald.com/news/local/article_d544f830-a581-11df-ba16-001cc4c002e0.html

Lebanon Police

And he can turn invisible — At 10:40 p.m. Monday, police received a call of a suspicious person at the 7-Eleven store and then the Ford dealership. The caller said a man wearing blue Spandex and a ski mask, carrying an umbrella and flashlight, was telling people he is a crime stopper named “Blue Blaze.” Police were unable to locate the wannabe super hero.

Imagine that people calling the police on someone in a silly looking costume declaring to be their saviour! Here is a quote from The Blue Blaze about masks.

"I first vowed never to wear a mask, but people kept confusing me for a jogger or bicyclist. After I started wearing a biker buff around my mouth, people instantly identified me for what I was in a positive and approachable manner."

Yes Mr. Blaze people did indeed identify you for what you are....a lunatic in blue spandex running around at night in car lots.

It seems the RLSH will never learn.... masks and costumes are for charity events... patrolling at night with them makes you look like a vigilante.

Seems like the police want to ask you a few questions Mr. Blaze.... say Zetaman knows who you are! Maybe he will do his civic duty and help law enforcement like all good little Real Life Super Heroes say they do.

KICK-ASS Returns

2010-08-03T00:35:00.000-07:00

Ah time for the "phase 2" of the KICK-ASS effect. Today this fine feature film makes it's debut to a larger market being released on DVD, Blu Ray, Cable, Super 8, Beta max, Stereoscopy, and some crude drawings under the 17th street bridge.

Being that this movie is rated R it did not get stellar box office results. I can see parents being hesitant forking over movie theater prices on unknown subject matter. The home movie watching experience is a little more lax as being in ones own "comfort zone" makes people especially younger individuals more at ease.

The results of the theatrical release of this film had around 80+ new accounts show up on the various online media RLSH outlets. I expect to see this number to increase substantially now with larger exposure to it's intended audience.

Of note, having already seen this film in the theater I was puzzled on why the RLSH.org chose to endorse this movie. As I said before this movie has nothing to do with them except for silly costumes and Myspace....but I guess any coverage is good coverage.

RLSH vs. RLSV

2010-07-29T01:53:00.000-07:00

If there ever was to be a show down, I think it would go something like this.

The Greatest RLSH Members Ever!

2010-07-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

Finally some freaking Real Life Super Heroes everyone can agree to like. Ladies and Gentlemen... meet The Taco Bell Super Delicious Ingredient Force. This group helped handout tacos at the 2010 SD Comic Con.

Members pictured are: Captain-Enchilada Sauce, Ima Chickenwomen & Steak Maximus.

Other members of this super team include: Super "reduced Fat" Sour Cream, Commander Seasoned Beef, Incredibean, Fantastic Rice, Crunch Boy, Flex Tortilla, and Dr. Steve Value.

I salute this tasty group of RLSH do-gooders! All they need now is a vegitarian RLSV member to make them regret they day they dared hand out taco number one!

Evil as a Lifestyle Choice?

2010-07-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

Really? A lifestyle choice? I think not.. you either are or you are not.

Overlord started her thirty days of evil postings almost two weeks ago. Was a little baffled when she came on the scene, as she has no real gripe with the RLSH and just seemed happy to have found anyone online calling themselves villains.

I read along with her blog, and like every other blog, some posts are hits and others are a miss. Then we get to day seven.... Dealing with Naysayers.

Well, well, well.. this is a Evil Challenge.. and I am pretty darn evil, so challenge excepted. After reading and re-reading the post by her I decided to put her to the test... I mean if I did not who would? As she has no forces of good to combat so it looked like I was a perfect candidate for the job. As a rule I seldom like to draw first blood.. set them up for later is my villainous motto.

Overlord made a negative comment about another member of villainy Octavius Fong.... showtime! Octavius Fong delivers critical and decisive blows to the forces of the RLSH sub-culture... so much so they all hate him with a passion. For those that are unfamiliar with Mr. Fong he is puppet. Yes that is correct, a hand puppet... a hand puppet that has and continues to put the RLSH in their place over and over again.

So as her day seven post was labeled "Dealing with Naysayers" I did just that. Result being I was removed from her links of evil... awww really? If you can't take the heat pumpkin I am afraid the world of villainy might not be for you. Being a douche bag (Apocalypse Meow agrees) I decided to up the anti and make a very wicked nasty (but funny as hell) comment on her social networking page.... ah that did it!

Removed in no time with a comment back worthy of a cape... I am afraid you have failed your own challenge Overlord.

Now time for a little free information....

Rule one of villainy.... never show your face.. that is how you will be found. It is the hero who goes unmasked as they have chosen to be the saviour of society and have accepted all the responsibility that goes with their choice.

Rule two.. when someone "creeps you out" for God's sake do not hit the yes button when they attempt to befriend you on a social networking site. Just politely say "No thank you" and move along.

Rule three.. no personal information. Even when you enter a false name it becomes pointless when you have linked pictures of mom and dad at Thanksgiving... nice Turkey btw.

Now have we learned anything? I certainly hope so, as I view you as a cute little pink fluffy stuffed animal of villainy I wish you to grow and evolve.. otherwise I would have already crushed you like a random piece of flubber under my hobnailed boot.

With much love.. and by love I mean hate...

-Poop Knife

Blog Talk Radio: Meow and Friends 07/12/10

2010-07-11T22:02:00.000-07:00

Well that was as fun as having to endure a double enema... by Dreizehn.

So I called up that wonderful blog talk radio experience known as Meow and Friends. Took them at face value... was told by the host she welcomed weird and counter view points on tonight's subject Master Legend. She even had a whole shpeal about not knowing what someone is about until you meet them face to face and share a big spaghetti dinner.

Well let's overview... was immediately threatened after announcing myself by Mrs. Meow... whats that word Mr. Jingles uses all the time??? No not Nazi.. the other one...

Blah blah blah listened to crap for like 30 minutes.. something about Greedoman (who sounds alot like Dark Guardian.. just a thought, I'm no Crossfire the Crusader)... Zetaman still rocks! Awesome guy with that little thing rattling around in his head called a brain.

At that point I had not really heard any opposing points to the Master Legend debate so politely asked to contribute... again there is a reason Zetaman runs the forum... and then enter into the world of fun.

Apparently when over opinionated hosts get their feathers ruffled then can go from zero to bitch in under 2.5 seconds. So my viewpoint was not accepted and the wonderful world of "Costume Activists" who all are part of groups called "Real Life Superheroes" decided to just talk down and make fun of me. Not a real problem kids no one said being a villain was easy... again you want to save the world but can't handle little ole amature me?

So what was the point Mrs. Meow Mix? You asked for people to call in who had a point of view, I gave one different to the majority and get blasted for it? Your not a very good talk show host.

Now let's play that skipping record once again... You are all part of a group that calls yourself SUPERHEROES.. real life.. half life.. no life.. the first part is meaningless... let's focus on SUPERHEROES. You are becoming representations of humanity that are suppose to be above and beyond all standards. When I watch a news story about you on 20/20 I do not want to research you and find out members belonging to your organization hate homosexuals. Tony Stark was a drunk... Iron Man was a hero... get it yet?

I think it is time for me to step it up a notch or two... no more rules of the game.. everyone is a target.

Spotlight: RLSH Viper

2010-07-06T14:27:00.000-07:00

Ah another RLSH has gotten some media attention:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

It looks like the police do not like you Mr. Viper... and neither do I.
Makes me glad that Tennessee is enforcing the anti mask laws. Especially since you foolishly decided to bring out the Ninja gear.

If you honestly are going to call law enforcement if you see crimes in progress then what is the deal with the throwing stars and other exotic weapons? Oh wait I know the stock answer to that question... going to be some crap about protection from people who want to do you harm for playing pajama patrol in their neighborhood.

Sigh.. just when I thought it would be a nice quiet summer... bet ya ten bucks he gets outed the same way Shadow Hare did.

Resources for Evil: Google Maps

2010-06-16T13:19:00.001-07:00

One of my most favorite evil activities is telling people to use Google Maps. Google Maps is perhaps one of the greatest online resources for villainy that the internet has ever known.

Besides the fact it will automatically direct you to every toll road known to man... it also loves to send you on roads and bridges that are yet to be built.

Now I know what you are saying.. where is the villainy? Getting wrong directions from an online resource is annoying sure, but not particularly evil.

Well then howabout taking a Kayak to Japan? Yes folks Google Maps will actually give you directions to Japan via Kayak... only 35 days and 6 hours. I put in Los Angeles, CA as my starting destination, as on the map it looks like a pretty straight shot across the Pacific ocean. Unfortunately Google Maps does not approve of me shoving off from LA and sends me about 1,200 miles north to depart from Washington. Thankfully only after 2,756 miles of paddling it gives me a stop over in Hawaii to stretch my legs. After my brief respite another 3,879 miles by Kayak to Japan. Now you think just getting to the shore of Japan would be good enough... no sir not for Google Maps! Once on the banks of Japan I must travel another 200+ miles (all by toll roads) to the exact epicenter of this jewel of the orient.

Google Maps does not allow travel across the Atlantic Ocean, but the Pacific Ocean is apparently a Kayaking paradise. Look out Red Arrow... here I come!

RLSV Spotlight: Tothian

2010-06-09T20:24:00.000-07:00

For some time now I have been perplexed on how to classify one member of this wacky real life comic book sub culture. You have many different types of capes, but this one is beyond any charity worker or vigilante.. this is your classic wolf in sheep's clothing.

Tothian is the Ultimate Real Life Super Villain. From manipulation of weak willed individuals, countless threats of violence, and just down right being a dick this guy wins hands down. It is also of note to mention all of these acts of evil have been directed at RLSH members.

Some of my personal favorites are:

The T man threatening an online reviewer with sending an armed RLSH to handle not being mentioned in a parody article.

Manipulating a younger person into giving him a password to an online heroes message forum... that he then purged massive amounts of data from.

Threatening to call another capes work place claiming he was about to shoot up the place.

Bravo good sir! Just that alone puts you above and beyond any RLSV currently and most likely far into the future. I believe ROACH still has an opening for the number two spot. I think a Sith of your caliber will be running the place in no time.

Real Life Mermaids

2010-06-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

So I watched the ABC television network tonight to tune into the show 20/20 that presented a special edition about "Superhumans!". The program featured a guy who climbs buildings, another guy with a gliding suit, real life mermaids, an autistic gu.... wait wait.. back up.

Real Life Mermaids? Ummmmm again why did no one tell me about this sooner? Hot girls in fish tails working as lifeguards and protecting the environment.. sign me up. I here by proclaim all Real Life Super Villain arching rights on Real Life Mermaids Hannah and Linden or as I will refer them to from now on as Molly and Dolly.

I will have to enhance my gimmick and plan.... Ok done. I will spend the next several months and or years developing a realistic dolphin suit. I will travel to the locations where these enchanting creatures of sailors song congregate and flail around in the water like a hurt air breathing sea creature. When they both rescue me I will pop my head out of the mouth of the dolphin costume and profess my undying love to them, winning their hearts and living happily ever after under the sea.

I must start the preparations for my plans and contact an aquatic expert about dolphins and the guy who worked on Sea Quest.... Oh yeah the rest of the television program had some other unique people then a little tidbit at the end about the RLSH.

Life (the guy, not the thing he is avoiding or breakfast cereal) and DC's Guardian were mentioned by name.

Real Life Mermaids! I am truly living in the future... or the past?

The Sky is Falling

2010-05-31T19:19:00.000-07:00

Ah Memorial Day! A time to remember and celebrate the fallen servicemen who came to the aid of our country for freedom and democracy. Also a time for pretend heroes and villains to all lower their IQ levels by half and jabber on like a bunch of drunken clowns at the county fair... which is where this side show attraction takes place.

Step right up folk's time to visit the online crime scene... as we have no facts currently to offer beyond speculation and rumor here is what we have.

----

Sometime in the last 100 hours Zetaman a very publicly known member of the Real Life Super Hero sub culture had his real life person automobile vandalized. A marker of some kind indicated the satirical online Real Life Super Villain group R.O.A.C.H.

----

One hopes Zetaman called the police to professionally handle this crime. Depending on the circumstance the united states justice system is very thorough. If it is member of that organization they deserve what ever is coming to them.

But what if it is not a member of this super evil online group and just someone that used their logo? That is why the police will investigate and come to an official conclusion.

Anything beyond the basic limited information known becomes speculation.

Alter that Ego

2010-05-27T23:12:00.000-07:00

When you look at things from several different angles things always look off balanced. The Alter ego in the RLSH world is a fascinating subject.. one of mystery and awe.

In the fantasy and reality world of heroes, the alter ego is the insignificant side of a loosing coin. Who would rather be Erotica Jones when they could be Stripperella? Ok that might have been a bad example.. who would rather be Clark Kent over his alter ego Super Man?

The RLSH in persona is a powerful tool used to what ever desire and whims the operator wishes. In taking part in a charity event to bring attention to the cause. In fighting crime to make an impact in those that do wrong. When making statements to represent themselves and what ever organizations they belong to in an appropriate and respectful manner.

If a RLSH makes an impact at any level, and continues to do so, it is only a matter of time before they are communally recognized and their public identity will become known. It seems the majority of "unmasked" RLSH members have already gone that route and are doing very well.

It again comes down to representation. What should be and should not be believed when reading an online real life super hero tale? Did Zetaman march for the Walk of Dimes? Does Master Legend go out and battle drug dealers? I am not sure what is real and what is comic book pretend... oh wait Zetaman uses his real name and is unmasked I can look that up.

Another fine example would be the back story or "origin" as it is used in the lingo. When you read the back story of Dragon Heart you can very much tell this is a fun and fantasy tale of a person that has created a hero persona. Then when you look at Master Legends beginnings of.. death at birth, parental abuse, voodoo magic, more parental abuse, human fly comic books, crack head beat down's, dead sidekicks, bottled water being handed out, crack head beat down's, giving blood, mental death thought's to Italy, holiday toy drive, perceptions of being an Arch Angel.. ect.

I think I can pick out what is real and what is pretend but gosh darn it.. I just do not know.

Nothing here but Balderdash!

2010-05-14T22:16:00.000-07:00

Ah, around the world and back again... that's the sailor's way.

Took a little time off from blogging to observe the Kick-Ass release, and see what effect it would have on the RLSH sub culture.

I saw Kick-Ass with Malvado SV for the first ever "non union" (yeah that's right we don't get dental) Super Villain Team up last month. It was very all cloak and dagger fun. We met at the place Malvado chose but the time I picked. I was slightly disappointed he was not a 800 pound Gorilla... but otherwise on to the show.

Kick-Ass was an exciting over the top movie that had very little to do with the RLSH, with the exceptions of silly costumes and MySpace. I hope in the directors cut they add Red Mist giving out Mountain Dew Code Red to homeless people. Maybe Hit Girl could sell cookies for the Girl Scouts and beat the ever living s#it out of people who don't buy them?

After effects on the sub culture would be around 60-85 new members that have popped up on the various online RLSH media outlets. Some on the the two main forums, many on MySpace and other smaller online venues. It is hard to keep exact count, as many change their name and gimmick week to week.

I expect after the release of DVD, movie channels, and frequent airings on the Soviet Central Television Network... every current online outlet will get a boost of membership.

Good Samaritan Stabbed & Dies

2010-04-26T10:53:00.000-07:00

On April 18, 2010 Hugo Alfredo Yale-Tax a 31 year old Guatemalan was repeatedly stabbed and left to die after intervening in a attempted mugging on a woman in Queens New York.

For about an hour and half Mr. Yale-Tax lay on the sidewalk bleeding out as approximately 25 people walked by and did nothing. One passerby stopped to take a cell phone picture, another rolled him over and saw the stab wounds.

Yes no one did a damn thing to help this "good Samaritan" less the two 911 calls that were placed both with incorrect addresses. A third 911 call gave the correct address but by that time it was too late.

This goes back to the very basics of street crime, observe and report do not intervene. This is a sad case that could have easily been avoided and one hopes this will be a reminder to the patrolling RLSH that next time it could be you.

This is only a test...

2010-04-16T23:11:00.000-07:00

KICK-ASS Count Down 2 Days

2010-04-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

Enter the Silver Age

2010-04-06T17:09:00.000-07:00

Being a Silver Age Real Life Super Villain sucks... but not as much as being a Silver Age Real Life Super Hero. A sad fact was passed on to me recently by a follower of the whole movement. With the retirement of Citizen Prime we are now "officially" in the Silver Age.

Yes those early days of the Golden Age Real Life Super Hero have long past. Back when the world was a simple place of Terrifica warning women of the dangers of men, Super Barrio fighting for community housing, and The Capital City Super Squad making the world a better place one garbage bag and flyer at a time.

Sure there are still some Golden Age heroes around like Captain Ozone, but they are mostly laughed at as their ideals are considered old fashion and out dated. DC Guardian still holds up the flag of freedom for truth and justice but is sadly out shadowed by the steel toe brigade of terror and deception.

Nine days and counting until Kick-ass comes out. A major hero has "retired", one from long ago makes national news, another from the past resurfaces, and more than five new profile accounts are showing up per week. The future is so bright it is glowing!

Very Sorry to Everyone

2010-04-01T18:26:00.000-07:00

I would like to publicly apologize to any one I have made contact with through this or any other media outlet.

I was really convinced this was some crazy subculture of regular people putting on costumes and trying to tackle various problems in society. It all became perfectly clear about a week ago.. the RLSH movement is a cover story for an international superhero cosplay sex club.

I should have figured this out sooner but I guess all those crazy fake cover stories of them fighting crime and giving out blankets to the homeless kept me side tracked... as it was suppose to.

The names really should have been the tip off... Master Legend, Minute Man, The Eye, Amazoina Alkidike.... Krampus who has a mouse side kick. Man and look at my name Poop Knife.. I bet that is why they were so excited when I showed up.

Again very sorry!

I will be moving on to tackle the problem of Real Life Sleeping Beauty next as that shows up in the google search too!

Seduction of the Innocent

2010-03-31T12:06:00.000-07:00

In a culture involved in mirroring a fantasy world and trying to make it's best elements a reality, problems that already exist in that fantasy world will become their reality.

The RLSH had a small panel for Mega Con in Orlando as they did in 2009. To add an unexpected element this year a villain and or opposing view point was added to the panel. During this panel a young girl and her mother attended.

The result of this visit had some unexpected side effects for all involved. The young girl made a connection but not with any of the Heroes... but with the Villain. This can be looked at through various angles. Our villain for this venue was dressed in a somewhat comedic costume, spoke in a funny voice, and carried a plush toy in his satchel. I would imagine children would respond more with him then sweaty middle aged adults.

This young lady and mother called up a blog talk radio program. Nothing of real note here as nine year old children should want to play superhero in their back yard under parental supervision. After this program ended it was suggested to start a "Kid Friendly" blog talk radio program that is suitable for younger listeners.

Children are not stupid and most are more tech savvy then their parents and guardians. What happens when they start befriending RLSH members on Myspace and start reading about the exploits of their heroes? What will they believe this is fantasy or reality? When they find RLSH.net and read about heroes preaching violence, and tolerance in the same message thread? If half of the RLSH cannot agree with one another what message will the "Kid Heroes" take home from this?

A Super Hero is an ideal and standard no one in this movement will ever be able to live up to. That is why comic books are fiction, because the standards by which the characters live by are so incredibly high they are impossible to replicate in real life.

You are entering a very dangerous arena by encouraging children to take part in your game.

Spotting A Hidden Handgun

2010-03-30T11:19:00.000-07:00

RLSH Spotlight: Citizen Prime

2010-03-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

What awesome timing for another high profile RLSH to retire. Yes folks the guy with the $4000.00 costume has hung up his battle armor.

He has made the wise choice to start being a better parent and dedicate his time to his family.

And with his departure Citizen Prime leaves us with this fascinating tidbit from his farewell message:

"Truthfully the Real Life Super Heroes movement and I have always been somewhat at odds. My message has been one of hope and peace through positive action. The darker elements of the movement always threaten to engulf the social enlightenment I, and others, advocate and it eventually kept me at arm's length from the majority of the RLSH. While I always found this regrettable, I also found it enviable, and it made me wonder if Citizen Prime's presence was contrary to the very message I evangelized."

Bravo good sir, I wish you the best on your retirement!

If anyone knows if he is having a garage sale please let me know.

Score Card

2010-03-25T23:56:00.000-07:00

For all those following along at home:

RLSH; A group of various costumed people wanting to do good, but really could find better ways to do it. They mostly do not call themselves "Heroes" but that is their label. Heroes vary from their own personal approach on problems they view in society. Problems in the "movement", no control on who can and cannot call them self "A Real Life Super Hero". Disagreement on methods used when in the "uniform/costume" and various "crime fighting" techniques. Problems distinguishing who is real and who is pretending. Small groups pitted against one another as no one will ever trust authority.

RLSV; a group of various costumed people wanting to do good, but really could find better ways to do it. They mostly do not call themselves "Villains" but that is their label. The RLSV does not exist in real life but only in an online persona to challenge the heroes beliefs. Problems in the "movement", no control on who can and cannot call them self "A Real Life Super Villain". Disagreement on methods used on how to expose "Heroes". Problems distinguishing who is real and who is pretending. A small group that somewhat agrees on a few basic points.

A brief listing of some of the players:

Apocalypse Meow: Host of Meow and Friends Blog Talk Radio Show. Is an interesting lady but too critical on some points of view.

Agent Beryllium: Smart Gal with a strong head on her shoulders and makes valid points. Talks like a valley girl. Is a member of Roach

Black Sun: Nihilist. Is a member of Roach.

Calamity: Good stuff all around, Can explain the hero logic better than a hero. Is a member of Roach.

Captain Australia: He is Australian.

Captain Black: Is doing it right and has been for years. Why he wants to associate with the RLSH is beyond me.

Crimson Nematode: Some points are made, reminds me of a character from cartoon show. Is a member of Roach.

Executrix: Host of Creature Feature Blog Talk Radio Show. Is a "heroes villain" has claimed a title of villian but will never talk against anyone in the RLSH. A member of Roach.

Grodd: *See Vandalor

Harbinger: Smart gal with her eye on the prize.

KICK_ASS: A movie coming out.

Krampus: Wants to be in radio and hopes this is his big chance to make it big. Narcs on people that could deplete his listening base. Talks out against Roach but is co-host on Creature Feature a Blog Talk Radio program hosted by Executrix who is a member of Roach.

Lord Malignance: Best Villain of them all. Gimmick with Style. Sometimes overly cartoonish but still makes a point.

Malvado SV: Villain with some problems but common sense that sees the bad elements. Hosts a show on blog talk radio.

Master Legend: Take off the mask, and go public Spider-Man style. We all know who you are. Make all the problems go away, you can still dress up and use the name.

Mr. Jingles: Minion of Krampus. Will defend all RLSH members no matter what the circumstance is. Dedicated follower to the cause.

Poop Knife: His email address has Nazi in it.

Potentate: Roach leader, sells T-shirts and works at i09.

Superhero: Could be the best and possibly the leader of the entire movement. Why the gun?

Tea Krulos: He is writing a book.

The Eye: The Eye sees all!

The Scarlett Fool: Makes some points. Is a member of Roach

Tiny Terror: Is gone.

Tothian: I have no freaking clue.

Vandalor: *See Malvado SV

Virus: Another newcomer to the game, good logic, too much written profanity for my taste.

White Skull: former number two man at Roach. Had some problems with his first approach. Was reformatted and has returned.

Z : Taking back the streets. Like Batman only mortal and broke.

Zetaman: Good guy, raises money for charity. Runs RLSH.net and bans people needlessly without trying to work things out.

Edit 03/27/10

Heroes with Guns

2010-03-21T21:58:00.000-07:00

One of the first points made here against the RLSH movement was about the Gun.

People out in the night with a firearm looking for problems to solve is a vigilante. Many a hero, villain, and supporter stood up and said that is not what the movement was about. I was misinformed, incorrect, and wrong. I was told anyone who carried a firearm would be dealt with and not considered a RLSH.

So please inform me! Superhero carries a firearm. He has said so, this is a fact. Please tell me how this act is justified?

In his own words he claims to need this for self defense against the 00.1% of people who have made threats against his life or those of Team Justice. Why have people made threats against them? I can only speculate that certain people in society do not feel like they need self proclaimed protectors. I also wonder what happens after 10% of the populous stands against the RLSH? If you use fire arms for 00.1% what next, full automatic machine guns? Grenades? Flame throwers?

A Firearm is a tool of man, the same as a flash light, a microwave oven, or a wrench. Will you stumble around in the dark if you have a flash light? Will you boil water over an open fire if you have a microwave oven? Will you use your hands to undue a bolt if you have a wrench? And will you restrain someone who is dangerous or shoot them instead?

As the Kick-Ass movie states... they don't have powers.... and they don't care.

KICK-ASS Count Down 29 Days

2010-03-17T14:22:00.000-07:00

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Those who do not learn from history.....

2010-03-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

For those that do not keep up with current or past events in the RLSH community we are about to replay actions from the past and present.

The Red Diamond was one of Master Legends side kicks who died in prison from wounds he received while battling drug dealers with ML. He was replaced by The Ace who was just a shill for the Rolling Stone article. The Ace was replaced by Ace Diamond who was recently attacked by drug dealers.

Do we see a trend here? Now we have no facts here except for the ones Master Legend has provided for us in his online postings. Ace of Diamond was not attacked in costume (that we know) but at his home defending his family... one of them who brought this criminal element into his home.

Now Master Legend is out for another quest for justice to track down the people responsible for attacking his newest side kick. What will this result be? Will there be another hero death when Ace Diamond heals up (he was curb stomped and thrown threw a window) and joins ML again out on the street? Master Legend says the police will not return his phone calls, which is doubtful unless he is not leaving his name and or if he has wasted there time in the past.

How many people will die due to the actions of this man?

The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company

2010-03-09T10:46:00.000-08:00

Zap, Pow, Bang, could it be? Yes a legitimate non profit organization using the superhero gimmick correctly.

The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company is located at 372 5th Ave. Brooklyn NY. 11215.

This looks to be a very fun and campy store. From cape testers, to fantasy products, all proceeds go into 826NYC.

Yes heroes do not get too excited as this store is a front. Behind a secret bookcase is where the real action takes place. 826NYC is a non profit group that helps inner city children ages 6-18 develop creative writing skills. They even have a functioning printing press to publish the stories the kids create. Very cool!

This gets my full rating and support of using the Superhero brand the correct way.

Blog Talk Radio: Ape Radio 03/03/10

2010-03-05T22:18:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday the Ape among Apes The Mighty Guerrilla Grodd launched his first broadcast on Blog Talk Radio.

I had to run some field tests on the Beta Ray Transmitter so I was unable to call in until the last part of the show. Not to get side tracked but the Beta Ray Transmitter is most likely the best piece of equipment the boys in the lab have produced yet. This magnificent invention takes obsolete VHS tapes and turns them into more obsolete Beta Max tapes.

Otherwise I was only able to listen to the show live from around the 7-14 minute mark then call in blind with about 10 minutes left. I listened to the rest on Thursday and was mildly annoyed. Not so much at the program, but more so that I had to listen to it myself. It seems weekends for interns start on Thursday.

For a first show I think it went alright. Krampus and Agent B. were more then able to keep conversation flowing with lite and serious topics being discussed as the conversation progressed.
I was not sure what had been talked about after the first 14 minutes of the show so I just came in as "Wacky Morning Poop Knife".

I wish Grodd all the best on future broadcasts, and hope he is able to "evolve" his show....

KICK-ASS

2010-03-03T11:07:00.000-08:00

I just can't wait, in 43 days and change the first big screen RLSH movie will make it's premier. What will this mean for the RLSH community? A big boost in membership? More criticism about their unorthodox actions? Absolutely nothing?

Looking back at movie trends, films based in reality have more of an impact then fantasy. Sure sure I know someone is going to point out the legions of fans that dress up like Storm Troopers, or Vulcan's. But until those people start building a space station or interstellar space craft they are in a separate category.

Take a look at the Dirty Harry films of the 1970's and 80's. After these films became popular the famous hand gun he carried the 44 magnum became one of the best selling fire arms of the period. In fact so much so the market is still flooded with unused models. After the release of every Disney movie with a dog featured people run out and purchase one of those sweet and funny animals. Then promptly after it is no longer a puppy and considered "cute" off to the pound it goes.

Kick-Ass is interesting as this is art imitating life which is imitating art.

Will this movie result in hundreds of new RLSH members taking to the street? Or will this be just a movie that will be forgotten in a year and sit in a dust covered box next to the Electra movie at the local video barn?

Spotlight: RLSH The Eye

2010-02-26T22:23:00.001-08:00

Aww hell yeah! Now this is what I am talking about. The Eye is the perfect RLSH.

* Block Captain of his neighborhood watch, observes and reports all illegal activity in his area.

* Use of the gimmick is perfect! He has a dragon's eye lantern ring, and The Eyes cane claw.

I would love to arch this man.. it would be so easy too! I show up on the scene and park in a handicapped spot.. WHAM The Eye calls the cops. I jay walk in front of The Eyes house... KAPOW here comes the fuzz. Perhaps I want to take some items from a recycle bin to deposit them for money to feed my starving family... WRENCH here comes the PoPo.

The Eye is pretty much like RoboCop.... If you break any law he will turn you in. Maybe because he is older then most members in the movement he has a better understanding of how the world works..... But only The Eye knows!

And as a super cool added bonus The Eye has very similar opinions as I do about ML. Here is my favorite quote by The Eye:

"We are not silver and black -wearing loons, wearing their neo-nazi helmets, while claiming to be "a super hero" with fantasy voodoo powers."

I would love to shake this mans hand and by him a beer... but he would most likely call the cops on me for assault and attempting to bribe a neighbor hood watch block captain.

Cult of the Super Hero

2010-02-23T12:19:00.000-08:00

An interesting perspective on the RLSH movement was brought to my attention in private email.

Could the RLSH be considered a cult?

There are many definitions for what a cult is and amazingly enough many of the descriptions seem to match up to the RLSH. I think this one sums it up nicely: A religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremest, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader.

In fact one of the main members of the RLSH believes himself to be the Archangel Metatron.