The Greatest RLSH Members Ever!

Finally some freaking Real Life Super Heroes everyone can agree to like. Ladies and Gentlemen... meet The Taco Bell Super Delicious Ingredient Force. This group helped handout tacos at the 2010 SD Comic Con.

Members pictured are: Captain-Enchilada Sauce, Ima Chickenwomen & Steak Maximus.

Other members of this super team include: Super "reduced Fat" Sour Cream, Commander Seasoned Beef, Incredibean, Fantastic Rice, Crunch Boy, Flex Tortilla, and Dr. Steve Value.

I salute this tasty group of RLSH do-gooders! All they need now is a vegitarian RLSV member to make them regret they day they dared hand out taco number one!

Evil as a Lifestyle Choice?

Really? A lifestyle choice? I think not.. you either are or you are not.

Overlord started her thirty days of evil postings almost two weeks ago. Was a little baffled when she came on the scene, as she has no real gripe with the RLSH and just seemed happy to have found anyone online calling themselves villains.

I read along with her blog, and like every other blog, some posts are hits and others are a miss. Then we get to day seven.... Dealing with Naysayers.

Well, well, well.. this is a Evil Challenge.. and I am pretty darn evil, so challenge excepted. After reading and re-reading the post by her I decided to put her to the test... I mean if I did not who would? As she has no forces of good to combat so it looked like I was a perfect candidate for the job. As a rule I seldom like to draw first blood.. set them up for later is my villainous motto.

Overlord made a negative comment about another member of villainy Octavius Fong.... showtime! Octavius Fong delivers critical and decisive blows to the forces of the RLSH sub-culture... so much so they all hate him with a passion. For those that are unfamiliar with Mr. Fong he is puppet. Yes that is correct, a hand puppet... a hand puppet that has and continues to put the RLSH in their place over and over again.

So as her day seven post was labeled "Dealing with Naysayers" I did just that. Result being I was removed from her links of evil... awww really? If you can't take the heat pumpkin I am afraid the world of villainy might not be for you. Being a douche bag (Apocalypse Meow agrees) I decided to up the anti and make a very wicked nasty (but funny as hell) comment on her social networking page.... ah that did it!

Removed in no time with a comment back worthy of a cape... I am afraid you have failed your own challenge Overlord.

Now time for a little free information....

Rule one of villainy.... never show your face.. that is how you will be found. It is the hero who goes unmasked as they have chosen to be the saviour of society and have accepted all the responsibility that goes with their choice.

Rule two.. when someone "creeps you out" for God's sake do not hit the yes button when they attempt to befriend you on a social networking site. Just politely say "No thank you" and move along.

Rule three.. no personal information. Even when you enter a false name it becomes pointless when you have linked pictures of mom and dad at Thanksgiving... nice Turkey btw.

Now have we learned anything? I certainly hope so, as I view you as a cute little pink fluffy stuffed animal of villainy I wish you to grow and evolve.. otherwise I would have already crushed you like a random piece of flubber under my hobnailed boot.

With much love.. and by love I mean hate...

-Poop Knife

Blog Talk Radio: Meow and Friends 07/12/10

Well that was as fun as having to endure a double enema... by Dreizehn.

So I called up that wonderful blog talk radio experience known as Meow and Friends. Took them at face value... was told by the host she welcomed weird and counter view points on tonight's subject Master Legend. She even had a whole shpeal about not knowing what someone is about until you meet them face to face and share a big spaghetti dinner.

Well let's overview... was immediately threatened after announcing myself by Mrs. Meow... whats that word Mr. Jingles uses all the time??? No not Nazi.. the other one...

Blah blah blah listened to crap for like 30 minutes.. something about Greedoman (who sounds alot like Dark Guardian.. just a thought, I'm no Crossfire the Crusader)... Zetaman still rocks! Awesome guy with that little thing rattling around in his head called a brain.

At that point I had not really heard any opposing points to the Master Legend debate so politely asked to contribute... again there is a reason Zetaman runs the forum... and then enter into the world of fun.

Apparently when over opinionated hosts get their feathers ruffled then can go from zero to bitch in under 2.5 seconds. So my viewpoint was not accepted and the wonderful world of "Costume Activists" who all are part of groups called "Real Life Superheroes" decided to just talk down and make fun of me. Not a real problem kids no one said being a villain was easy... again you want to save the world but can't handle little ole amature me?

So what was the point Mrs. Meow Mix? You asked for people to call in who had a point of view, I gave one different to the majority and get blasted for it? Your not a very good talk show host.

Now let's play that skipping record once again... You are all part of a group that calls yourself SUPERHEROES.. real life.. half life.. no life.. the first part is meaningless... let's focus on SUPERHEROES. You are becoming representations of humanity that are suppose to be above and beyond all standards. When I watch a news story about you on 20/20 I do not want to research you and find out members belonging to your organization hate homosexuals. Tony Stark was a drunk... Iron Man was a hero... get it yet?

I think it is time for me to step it up a notch or two... no more rules of the game.. everyone is a target.

Spotlight: RLSH Viper

Ah another RLSH has gotten some media attention:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

It looks like the police do not like you Mr. Viper... and neither do I.
Makes me glad that Tennessee is enforcing the anti mask laws. Especially since you foolishly decided to bring out the Ninja gear.

If you honestly are going to call law enforcement if you see crimes in progress then what is the deal with the throwing stars and other exotic weapons? Oh wait I know the stock answer to that question... going to be some crap about protection from people who want to do you harm for playing pajama patrol in their neighborhood.

Sigh.. just when I thought it would be a nice quiet summer... bet ya ten bucks he gets outed the same way Shadow Hare did.

Resources for Evil: Google Maps

One of my most favorite evil activities is telling people to use Google Maps. Google Maps is perhaps one of the greatest online resources for villainy that the internet has ever known.

Besides the fact it will automatically direct you to every toll road known to man... it also loves to send you on roads and bridges that are yet to be built.

Now I know what you are saying.. where is the villainy? Getting wrong directions from an online resource is annoying sure, but not particularly evil.

Well then howabout taking a Kayak to Japan? Yes folks Google Maps will actually give you directions to Japan via Kayak... only 35 days and 6 hours. I put in Los Angeles, CA as my starting destination, as on the map it looks like a pretty straight shot across the Pacific ocean. Unfortunately Google Maps does not approve of me shoving off from LA and sends me about 1,200 miles north to depart from Washington. Thankfully only after 2,756 miles of paddling it gives me a stop over in Hawaii to stretch my legs. After my brief respite another 3,879 miles by Kayak to Japan. Now you think just getting to the shore of Japan would be good enough... no sir not for Google Maps! Once on the banks of Japan I must travel another 200+ miles (all by toll roads) to the exact epicenter of this jewel of the orient.

Google Maps does not allow travel across the Atlantic Ocean, but the Pacific Ocean is apparently a Kayaking paradise. Look out Red Arrow... here I come!

RLSV Spotlight: Tothian

For some time now I have been perplexed on how to classify one member of this wacky real life comic book sub culture. You have many different types of capes, but this one is beyond any charity worker or vigilante.. this is your classic wolf in sheep's clothing.

Tothian is the Ultimate Real Life Super Villain. From manipulation of weak willed individuals, countless threats of violence, and just down right being a dick this guy wins hands down. It is also of note to mention all of these acts of evil have been directed at RLSH members.

Some of my personal favorites are:

The T man threatening an online reviewer with sending an armed RLSH to handle not being mentioned in a parody article.

Manipulating a younger person into giving him a password to an online heroes message forum... that he then purged massive amounts of data from.

Threatening to call another capes work place claiming he was about to shoot up the place.


Bravo good sir! Just that alone puts you above and beyond any RLSV currently and most likely far into the future. I believe ROACH still has an opening for the number two spot. I think a Sith of your caliber will be running the place in no time.

Real Life Mermaids

So I watched the ABC television network tonight to tune into the show 20/20 that presented a special edition about "Superhumans!". The program featured a guy who climbs buildings, another guy with a gliding suit, real life mermaids, an autistic gu.... wait wait.. back up.

Real Life Mermaids? Ummmmm again why did no one tell me about this sooner? Hot girls in fish tails working as lifeguards and protecting the environment.. sign me up. I here by proclaim all Real Life Super Villain arching rights on Real Life Mermaids Hannah and Linden or as I will refer them to from now on as Molly and Dolly.

I will have to enhance my gimmick and plan.... Ok done. I will spend the next several months and or years developing a realistic dolphin suit. I will travel to the locations where these enchanting creatures of sailors song congregate and flail around in the water like a hurt air breathing sea creature. When they both rescue me I will pop my head out of the mouth of the dolphin costume and profess my undying love to them, winning their hearts and living happily ever after under the sea.

I must start the preparations for my plans and contact an aquatic expert about dolphins and the guy who worked on Sea Quest.... Oh yeah the rest of the television program had some other unique people then a little tidbit at the end about the RLSH.

Life (the guy, not the thing he is avoiding or breakfast cereal) and DC's Guardian were mentioned by name.

Real Life Mermaids! I am truly living in the future... or the past?