The Sassy Gay Friend is Dead!

Yep it is sad but true... and end of an era. Just like giant cell phones and Tevo, the male sassy gay has been replaced.

I here by decree this next decade now belongs to the Sassy Bisexual friend. Back in the closet you go Carson Kressley.... you are obsolete. The SBF is in many respects similar to his predecessor. Interior decorating skills, fashion sense, and interpretational Lady Gaga dancing is all there.

The superiority of the SBF to the SGF breaks down as follows. With your typical SGF female heterosexual relationship there is always that uncomfortable level of sexual tension subconsciously on the female side. She deep down in some chromosomal level feels the need to bring the SGF back to the home team. It would be great right? You converted one back who will be the perfect life mate. He is caring, sweet, and has a much better living room set then you could ever hope for. This scenario never works out well... nine times out of ten you just sent him running back to the club where you will be gossipped about and put on the national SGF do not call list. You are shoe shopping alone from now on chica.

This is where the evolution of the SBF truly outshines his cro-magnon cousin. The heterosexual female in the SBF relationship does not feel the will or desire to have to "save" this one. She will be pleased as punch to sill have someone to look over the new fall fashions and chat on the phone about last nights episode of Glee. The SBF sexual relationship is always a option for her if she chooses to act on it. Nine times out of Ten she will not pursue that kind of relationship, as she needs someone to talk to about why her boyfriend does not understand her. A wonderful side effect for the SBF is he often does not have to pay for things when he has a current partner. The female will feel some kind of weird moral obligation to treat for talking to the SBF about her man troubles. Watermelon smoothies are the best!

Now as the sun now rises proudly over the horizon welcoming in this new utopia. I bid the SGF goodbye forever.... or until Tuesday... what ever comes first.

Satan's Cheerleaders (1977) trailer

Concentrated Evil thy name is Computer King

This one goes out to you Pufnstuf! Looking forward to your return.... someone has to cut those vegetables on my plate for me. :D

Superman Renounces U.S. Citizenship

Oh say it ain't so Superman!

So much for truth, justice and the American way.

Guess there is a reason why Batman could always kick ole Clarks butt? I think Supes needs another Bat reality check asap! Maybe even Ollie can help and shoot a kryptonite arrow into his chest? Wait, that is the future we will never get.

Ugh, other than bankruptcy... can something please kill Superman?

http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/04/27/superman-renounces-us-citizenship/#ixzz1Kq5kCTSP

So Superman is going to renounce his allegiance to the US and proclaim it to the UN. I find the irony of him denouncing the U.S. and then going to the U.N. funny . Since the U.N. is the most useless organization on the planet just as The League of Nations Was in the 1920's and 30's. If anything he should fly over to the UN building pick it up and throw it into the sun if he really wants to "Fight for Justice."

Teenage Mother (1967) trailer

RLSV Patrol Log: 04/16/11

RLSV Patrol Log: 04/16/11

Teamed up with Malvado and Intern Terry for this one... safety in numbers and all that stuff.

7:06pm: Left Malvado's Lair to walk to gas station to buy evil provisions.
7:09pm: Saw pretty fountain... Malvado said it was just a tire.
7:14pm: Arrived at gas station.. this dirty bordello of capitalist filth... selling there overpriced combos and candy bars.
7:16pm: Malvado mistook a child for a girl when in fact it was a boy. Everyone in the store laughed and he apologized to the child.
7:17pm: Purchased items and left.
7:20pm: Had interesting conversation about music.
7:23pm: Saw man doing yard work and waved, he waved back.. in fear and terror seeing two RLSV's at the same time.
7:26pm: arrived back at Malvado's lair.

04/20/11

11:00pm: Finished Writing patrol log.. this one was long and I had to spend a lot of time on it.

A Hero is Born!

Being an RLSV is just stupid. I have no idea what I was thinking of in the first place. I have no costume... excuse me I mean uniform. I don't do anything that is remotely villain like (with the exception of not recycling on purpose cause Meow Mix said to) and I have excellent table manners. I know which one is the salad fork... do you?

I think I have changed my mind..... I hear by proclaim myself a RLSH! I will now go by the name "Wild Flower" I will protect the environment by calling 9-11 every time I see someone being a litter bug. I will zap the offender with my cattle prod (I am new to being a RLSH, who sells cattle prods cheap?) Until Johnny Law arrives.... but safely use a hefty bag full of marsh mellows to rest their head under.

I already have a grappling hook, and a Oscar Meyer weenier whistle to blow, if anything comes up that my cell phone and cattle prod cannot handle. I also plan on carrying a bag full of wild flowers to put into the end of a gun if anyone pulls one on me. Pretty cool eh? I am a total marketing machine calling myself Wild Flower and using wild flowers!

How do I contact Peter Tangen? I am so on board and ready for my photo shoot! This is going to be great! I am going to make the world a better place and get to be on a poster!

-Poop Kn..... I mean RLSH Wild Flower!