RLSV Victory for Villainy Over RLSH Ani Mal

Oh yes, I am so claiming this one.

Not but a little while ago (June 30th to be precise) one pointed out the "short comings" of the spandex monstrosity of nightmares known as the fruit wrap of Real Life Super Hero (or maybe Alt-X by now) know as Ani Mal.

The streets are still not safe, but at least the children and women will not recoil in horror... too much. If only they made a black pair of pants big enough to cover the entire shame of the RLSH sub-culture I could retire in peace... and go back to Project Love Dolphin.

This gives one new purpose in villainy. From this day forward I will not rest until all capes are wearing pants! This may take some time... but it will be time well invested.

Look out Iron Lamb... you are my next target.

BWAHAHAHA!

-PK

Captain America Dry

Wow what a brilliant marketing plan. Captain America the Marvel comics symbol of super patriotism is on a bottle of Canada Dry.

The "boys" in marketing have really out done themselves this time.

Maybe this is a new era in mismarketing? Perhaps Tony Stark could start endorsing O'Douls.... or maybe Wonder Woman could have her own line of steak sauce!

Happy Villaindependence Day indeed.

Spotlight: RLSH Ani Mal

Now here we have....

OH MY GOD... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

If you are going to wear spandex have the common sense to put some underwear on the outside of that thing.

Think Batman not Spider-Man for two seconds.

I don't want to see this "hero" again until he gets a pair of trunks.... or possibly a restraining order around public parks.

This is beyond epic fail at this point... like a black hole trapped inside a Corona without a lime.

Mail Bag

Yeesh... it's summer time people.... even death takes a holiday.

Gosh it is super swell to know people miss me tormenting them with Death Bots and such. Here is a fun rundown of messages I have gotten in the last month.... all names are withheld to protect the un-road worthy.

Alice: i just wanted to say i am so sorry bout the phone thing on the ****** ****** show i hope u can fore give me

Skippy: I am glad you have gone away you mother ******. I hope you got hit by a truck.

Joan: Are you ok? Have not seen you on FB. I miss our late night chats. :(

Building 2-A: Dear Mr. VonDeathbread, this is to inform you that the copy of "How to Rule the World from your Couch" by Laura Day is now 5 days overdue. You will be charged .10 per day until it is returned.

Fred: Are you mad at me? What ever I did wrong I am sorry, please do not unfriend me! Please write back.

Chip: you ok? You weren't caught in any subterfuge and revenge taken against you or those close to you?


Well it looks like I have some business to attend to, as ten cents per day is going to add up really quick. Otherwise Back to the Beach with Frankie and Annette.

The Sassy Gay Friend is Dead!

Yep it is sad but true... and end of an era. Just like giant cell phones and Tevo, the male sassy gay has been replaced.

I here by decree this next decade now belongs to the Sassy Bisexual friend. Back in the closet you go Carson Kressley.... you are obsolete. The SBF is in many respects similar to his predecessor. Interior decorating skills, fashion sense, and interpretational Lady Gaga dancing is all there.

The superiority of the SBF to the SGF breaks down as follows. With your typical SGF female heterosexual relationship there is always that uncomfortable level of sexual tension subconsciously on the female side. She deep down in some chromosomal level feels the need to bring the SGF back to the home team. It would be great right? You converted one back who will be the perfect life mate. He is caring, sweet, and has a much better living room set then you could ever hope for. This scenario never works out well... nine times out of ten you just sent him running back to the club where you will be gossipped about and put on the national SGF do not call list. You are shoe shopping alone from now on chica.

This is where the evolution of the SBF truly outshines his cro-magnon cousin. The heterosexual female in the SBF relationship does not feel the will or desire to have to "save" this one. She will be pleased as punch to sill have someone to look over the new fall fashions and chat on the phone about last nights episode of Glee. The SBF sexual relationship is always a option for her if she chooses to act on it. Nine times out of Ten she will not pursue that kind of relationship, as she needs someone to talk to about why her boyfriend does not understand her. A wonderful side effect for the SBF is he often does not have to pay for things when he has a current partner. The female will feel some kind of weird moral obligation to treat for talking to the SBF about her man troubles. Watermelon smoothies are the best!

Now as the sun now rises proudly over the horizon welcoming in this new utopia. I bid the SGF goodbye forever.... or until Tuesday... what ever comes first.

Satan's Cheerleaders (1977) trailer

Concentrated Evil thy name is Computer King

This one goes out to you Pufnstuf! Looking forward to your return.... someone has to cut those vegetables on my plate for me. :D