The Sassy Gay Friend is Dead!

Yep it is sad but true... and end of an era. Just like giant cell phones and Tevo, the male sassy gay has been replaced.

I here by decree this next decade now belongs to the Sassy Bisexual friend. Back in the closet you go Carson Kressley.... you are obsolete. The SBF is in many respects similar to his predecessor. Interior decorating skills, fashion sense, and interpretational Lady Gaga dancing is all there.

The superiority of the SBF to the SGF breaks down as follows. With your typical SGF female heterosexual relationship there is always that uncomfortable level of sexual tension subconsciously on the female side. She deep down in some chromosomal level feels the need to bring the SGF back to the home team. It would be great right? You converted one back who will be the perfect life mate. He is caring, sweet, and has a much better living room set then you could ever hope for. This scenario never works out well... nine times out of ten you just sent him running back to the club where you will be gossipped about and put on the national SGF do not call list. You are shoe shopping alone from now on chica.

This is where the evolution of the SBF truly outshines his cro-magnon cousin. The heterosexual female in the SBF relationship does not feel the will or desire to have to "save" this one. She will be pleased as punch to sill have someone to look over the new fall fashions and chat on the phone about last nights episode of Glee. The SBF sexual relationship is always a option for her if she chooses to act on it. Nine times out of Ten she will not pursue that kind of relationship, as she needs someone to talk to about why her boyfriend does not understand her. A wonderful side effect for the SBF is he often does not have to pay for things when he has a current partner. The female will feel some kind of weird moral obligation to treat for talking to the SBF about her man troubles. Watermelon smoothies are the best!

Now as the sun now rises proudly over the horizon welcoming in this new utopia. I bid the SGF goodbye forever.... or until Tuesday... what ever comes first.