Sunday, August 29, 2010

Amazonia Wants to Steal my Blood!


I was recently contacted via a vast modern social networking site by the RLSH member Amazonia Alkidike trying to lure me into her clever trap.

Apparently on October 2nd, 2010 in Ocala Florida she will be involved in a blood harvesting plot.

Momma Knife raised no fool.. clearly Amazonia is a Vampire RLSH. A hybrid hero is not unheard of as currently I am arching Molly and Dolly a pair of Real Life Mermaids.

Being a class 3 Meta Villain I was very aware of the Alkidike ruse to deprive me of my beloved red life source. In this time of strife in my world I reached out to one of the only humans on the globe who could help me... a Real Life Super Hero.

After many a frantic message I got a response from the one and only Silver Sentinel.

PK: Amazonia Alkidike wants to steal my blood!!!

SS: Hihowareya
PK: doinggreatyourself?
SS: Day off.. took a nap.. have to stay up all night so I don't screw up my sleep pattern.
PK: Ah, i do understand that one. I wuz fishin this weekend.
SS: Catch anything?
PK: 4 fish (all returned to the water) and 7 blue crabs that I boiled alive then ate.
SS: I had crabs once.. a small steel comb and some special shampoo.. all gone.
SS: Oh oh.. seafood crabs Yeah.. don't like those either
PK: hey crabs are crabs... boil and eat!
PK: Amazionia will not have my blood! I think she is a Vampire.
SS: She just wants to have an event people will come to.
PK: That is crap, she wants to my blood!
SS: You should drive a wooden steak though her heart.
PK: I think that may be a bit drastic, you should attend and have your picture taken with her... if she does not appear in the photo then she is a vampire.
SS: I am afraid I cannot travel at this time.
PK: I understand... she will not take your blood either... you are wise.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Spotlight: RLSH Miss Fit


Good Golly... I could be for the first time at a loss for words.

So here is one of our newcomers on the RLSH scene Miss Fit. Other then looking like a human wrecking machine, what wonderful things can this dynamic woman add to the already unique melting pot that is the Real Life Super Hero sub culture?

Well howabout being involved in the adult entertainment industry? Yep our newest "hero" has her own adult page http://denisemasino.com/ (note this first page linked is somewhat safe but if you click and proceed further do so at your own risk).

Bravo! You guys sure do pick who you want to be in your little club ever so carefully don't cha? So now little Billy and Suzie along with finding out the gross intolerance of their favorite heroes can some day aspire to become a "hero" just like Miss Fit.

Please pardon me.... I must now go scrub my eyes with bleach.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Spotlight: RLSH Crossfire the Crusader



Ah what a fine specimen we have here.

Crossfire is a man of the cloth... and just like most religious zealot's he does not practice what he preaches. All is well when he is telling you what to do but question his actions and feel the wrath.

For someone that likes to interact with villainy one would think he would have a thicker skin? He posted a silly blog on June 20th poking a little fun at the RLSV sub culture. I got a chuckle out of this and honored him with a post (even though he totally insulted Malvado by using a picture of Zr. Zaius who is an Orangutan and not a picture of Urko or Ursus who are Apes).

When in trouble I always reach out to RLSH members... that is there job after all. I had a unique member asking me to arch them. I am evil not a monster, to arch this individual would have been needlessly cruel. I asked Mr. Fire to help (which he eventually did) but what was his fantastic advice to me.... to pretend to be Comrade Cocoa. Yep folks I should pretend to be a dog... wow!

In my appreciation for the eventual help I received I decided to honor Mr. Fire with another glorious post on his blog. I found his "Pennies from Heaven" post very amusing so I posted a link to something else I thought was amusing involving pennies:

http://funnyordie.com/m/tjz

I guess pennies coming from God is OK but from ones ass is not.

So after my post was removed by him I went about my business.... then after posting in an unrelated area on the interweb...on an unrelated topic.. I get a direct response from Mr. Fire.

"Its so easy for haters to hide behind cartoon pictures and false names online to spew their venom...its just as easy to block their silly behinds and let them swim in their own vomit...just saying"

Spew Venom and swim in vomit.... gross.... so much for forgiveness and Christan love. Now believe it or not I am able to pull Bible verses out of my ass.. kind of like pennies. My response to Mr. Fire:

" Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone? Luke 5:21"

Hmmm... guess getting what you give touched a nerve, and Mr. Fire said:

"Jesus said to his followers that if a city does not accept you to shake the dust off your feet as you leave...no sense in giving time and effort to senseless arguments with bitter people...Its not about forgiving sins or not forgiving sins...Its about refusing to get caught up in drama...If they want to talk sensibly I have no issues, but the ones who spew bile with every word can seek another outlet because i have not the time for it."

Now that is one hell of a Bible quote... I guess it must be somewhere in the back? So what is this lesson? If someone mocks you cast them out? I was able to laugh at your jokes Mr. Fire... don't play with the forces of evil if you cannot take the consequences.

Now let's have a bit of fun... Crossfire has a big burning cross on his chest. So let's use some "Jingles logic" if I have an anti Semitic email address but have never said anything anti Semitic and Cross Fire has a burning cross on his chest...ahhh he is a Klansman!


**Bonus Round!** Crossfire the Crusader is also the master of voices. Our first interaction many months ago I was accused of being another blogger that goes by the name of Lavender Leopard. Due to his grand skills of deduction many a RLSH believes I am now LL as well..... sure why not I am also Agent Beryllium's goggles, Silver Sentinel's Beard, and Comrade Cocoa's hat.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

What is Evil?



I asked 8 different RLSH members from across the board what their views were on good and evil. Of those eight, six responded. Three questions were asked:

Question One: What is evil?

Question Two: So if no direct harm is done to others.... but knowing that ones actions may hurt others... is this evil?

Question Three: Could the same be said for Good as well?


Treesong

1.I think evil has something to do with harming others. Really, I think it has to do with falling out of harmony with the positive potential that lies within you. When you are self-aware enough to hear that voice telling you the kind, compassionate, honest thing to do, and yet you don't follow it because you would rather take advantage of others for your own gain, that is evil.

2.Hmmm not sure what you mean. I think if you know it may harm people, and there's no good reason to risk that, then it may be at least a little evil.

3. A lot of philosophical questions tonight... :) I guess that if you know something has a chance of helping people, and you do it, then that's at least a little good, even if it was a small act.


Silver Sentinel

1.Evil is that which brings harm to self or others. By its very nature it causes pain and suffering.

2. If you know your actions may be harmful to others, yet continue to do them, then you are engaged in wrongful behavior. If your intention is to purposely cause harm (even if only potentially) and you continue to act.. Then yes, you are doing evil.

A person may believe whatever they want to, but if they are "purposeful" in their behavior, and such behavior is potentially harmful, then they are engaging in evil.

It is the habit of rationalizing away the intention, that people use to excuse their behavior. They say that evil people never see themselves as evil.. but I believe that they know better.

3. Absolutely not. If Good intentionally commits acts of harm and then rationalizes it.. then Good is wrong and must attone. Good must not use Evil methods.

Unfortunately good people often resort to evil to overcome problems. But at least Good will attempt to make up for and pay for its sins. Evil does no such thing.


Red Voltage

1. Evil is doing something to harm someone else in any way shape or form, whether its physically or mentally, and its doing the act out of revenge, jealousy, or for no reason at all. That's kinda what I think it is.

2. (Waiting for reply)

3. (Not asked yet)


Amazoina Alkidike

1. What is evil? To me evil is a force that will do whatever it takes to effect an outcome in it's favor and cares nothing of anyone or anything. That it will betray or destroy it's own family or kind just to get what it wants.

For the record, I do not believe that there is total evil in the world.

2. (Waiting for reply)

3. (Not Asked Yet)


Dc's Guardian

1. Things that are destructive.

2. this would depend if you feel there is an absolute. . .i believe there is evil in the world. . .someone could what if the situation to death. . .and always find a way to say it's not causing real harm. . .at least directly. . .but if someones got to go down that rabbit hole. . .it leads me to beleive the person knows they are doing wrong. . .and merely finding ways to excuse it. . .if you believe there is no absolute then you can always excuse actions out of convienyance. . .you are putting the question as if they know it will hurt others. . .just not directly. . .that in itself says something. . .

3. yes it can. . .but the question to you is this. . .with both sides in this situation. . .is it better to stay on the sidelines. . .or to at least try what you feel is the right way to go. . .


Mr. Jack (Note I did not feel the need to ask Mr. Jack Questions 2 or 3 as he seemed to answer them already on his first response.)

1. I am inclined to believe, much as I do about many things, that evil is innate. That is to say, objective. I will give some background first to root it.

I believe that the world we live in is completely objective. The issue is that people themselves are beings of pure subjectivity. They live in this world of absolute reality, but their own interpretations and subjectivity blur it, often beyond all comprehension. This is a huge and irreconcilable issue, and one which people tend to ignore.

I used to say that good and evil are absolute terms, rooted in the objective world. But since I have come to terms with what really is going on, I have changed that belief greatly, also a by product of that revelation of subjectivity.

Good and evil, like all things man made, are subjective creations imposed upon objectivity. They are therefor nearly impossible to define on a general basis. You can give estimations however. Killing is generally perceived as an evil act, and while I would like to think of it as absolutely evil, that is my own bias talking. The universe does not have an opinion or a moral compass. Man does. And so death in the universe is not evil, it just is. Just like everything else. Man gives it meaning, and that meaning is often that it is evil.

On this theory, the world is simple to understand, because really, there is very little to understand and find out. The laws of physics, the development of the universe, but these are rarely questions of why. Why is reserved for questions concerned with subjectivity, therefor man, as the universe is so objective it does not actually have any why to speak of. It is again, just is.

If you are following, which I assume you are since you are rather intelligent gathering from your blogs and sarcasm (wit is a sign of wisdom in my book) I think I can speak plain. Evil is whatever you make it to be. It is an unfortunate thing in some ways, but in others, liberating. Evil is defined as whatever a person defines it to be. You could say that you are a supreme being of evil and the most incarnate vestige of it. That is your definition of it, and it stands.

There is, however, a contention to be had with this. That is the power of group subjectivity. You see, if many completely separate and subjective sources identify one thing as being something, it becomes much more powerful and real. It is one thing for you to call yourself the most evil supreme being of all time. It is quite another for 1,000 people to do so. This, this subjective collectivity of definition, is actually what I believes the definition of what power is. The more power, the more agreed upon subjectivity, the more real and accepted something is, for instance you reign as supreme evil overlord.

In this light we can see that evil is completely subjective, and therefor without definition. But we can also see, as with all things, that if subjective investigations are made and all agree upon certain definitions, we can make the completely subjective nature of such things as evil a powerful and real force.

-------------

I would like to thank all those that responded to my questions. I will update this post if I hear from those who have not replied back currently.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Why don't you hate me too?


Alright so your a RLSH, you have your silly costume and a set of lofty goals on how you are going to fix all the worlds problems. So the only thing missing in your life (besides common sense) is to find that perfect RLSV to become your arch.

Just as most RLSH members are unique so are the RLSV. You just can't go out all willy-nilly and start picking fights with everyone you come into contact with... there are rules about this sort of thing.

First find a villain that you are compatible with. This is a little harder then in the comic world due to the lack of superhuman powers and abilities. Make sure your arch will be able to challenge you on a regular basis... if your enemy cannot make you think your relationship is doomed from the start.

Know what you are getting into before you start your courtship. If Aqualad went after the Joker no one should be surprised when they find him filleted and hanging from a hook at the local fish mongers. Out of state arching is highly recommend. If you are already paranoid enough to wear a costume and conceal your identity having someone close by is not going to work out. Every time you hear a strange noise at 3am your going to go into freak out mode thinking your arch is attacking your Super Cave.

Once you have found that special someone remember it may not be an exclusive relationship. Your arch most likely will still see other heroes on the side. This is not your fault and you should not beat your self up over it, nor be upset at the other hero in the picture. Perhaps do something to encourage more attention from your villain or team up with other said hero.

Never be afraid to express your true feelings to your arch. Villainy thrives on making heroes miserable. Let them know you appreciate the time and effort they are putting into making your life a living hell.

With these simple helpful suggestions I am sure you will be finding someone to hate you in no time. Good luck!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

At the Movies


It is funny how events unfold. No matter what side of the fence you are on if you do not feel some compassion for the opposing force in each game you play, that does not make you a monster....just unfeeling.

Krampus the scourge of blogtalk radio, the Christmas Demon, the man of 999 voices, the singer of songs, and vagabond of the ethereal plane is still flesh and blood like all others in the mortal coil.


I would here by like to offer not so much an olive branch but a chance to come to a mutual point of understanding with the man, myth, and monster.

As mentioned on the current Creature Feature episode 09/14/10 I would like to meet up and partake in the human bonding ritual known as "movie night" with the one known as Krampus. I have asked "villain" Mlavado SV if he would like to partake and got a "Sounds Groovy" reply.

So..... Dear Krampus, would you like to go see a movie with us to review on your show? We can talk about other things if you wish. Malvado SV and myself are cheap dates so you need to buy the pop corn, milk duds, and Jujube's... and maybe provide quarters for the Mrs. Pacman machine in the lobby. I am more of a Q-Bert man but Malvado did issue a challenge to me and I do take those seriously.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Spotlight: RLSH The Blue Blaze


Ah I do love it when a cape makes the news.


http://democratherald.com/news/local/article_d544f830-a581-11df-ba16-001cc4c002e0.html

Lebanon Police

And he can turn invisible — At 10:40 p.m. Monday, police received a call of a suspicious person at the 7-Eleven store and then the Ford dealership. The caller said a man wearing blue Spandex and a ski mask, carrying an umbrella and flashlight, was telling people he is a crime stopper named “Blue Blaze.” Police were unable to locate the wannabe super hero.


Imagine that people calling the police on someone in a silly looking costume declaring to be their saviour! Here is a quote from The Blue Blaze about masks.

"I first vowed never to wear a mask, but people kept confusing me for a jogger or bicyclist. After I started wearing a biker buff around my mouth, people instantly identified me for what I was in a positive and approachable manner."

Yes Mr. Blaze people did indeed identify you for what you are....a lunatic in blue spandex running around at night in car lots.

It seems the RLSH will never learn.... masks and costumes are for charity events... patrolling at night with them makes you look like a vigilante.

Seems like the police want to ask you a few questions Mr. Blaze.... say Zetaman knows who you are! Maybe he will do his civic duty and help law enforcement like all good little Real Life Super Heroes say they do.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

KICK-ASS Returns


Ah time for the "phase 2" of the KICK-ASS effect. Today this fine feature film makes it's debut to a larger market being released on DVD, Blu Ray, Cable, Super 8, Beta max, Stereoscopy, and some crude drawings under the 17th street bridge.


Being that this movie is rated R it did not get stellar box office results. I can see parents being hesitant forking over movie theater prices on unknown subject matter. The home movie watching experience is a little more lax as being in ones own "comfort zone" makes people especially younger individuals more at ease.

The results of the theatrical release of this film had around 80+ new accounts show up on the various online media RLSH outlets. I expect to see this number to increase substantially now with larger exposure to it's intended audience.

Of note, having already seen this film in the theater I was puzzled on why the RLSH.org chose to endorse this movie. As I said before this movie has nothing to do with them except for silly costumes and Myspace....but I guess any coverage is good coverage.