I think I feel somewhat violated after this chat session. I believe I will just let White Skull and Crimson Nematode keep Captain Ozone to themselves. Is this guy for or against the environment... I am confused?
PK: BWAHAHAH Captain Ozone! I just peed in the river.. take that!
CO: That's only natural, Nature Boy!
PK: Nooooo foiled again! Curse you Captain Ozone!
CO: Just make sure that you bring a shovel and unbleached TP with you when you have to go BM in the woods.
How many times a day to you go BM, Jebediah?
An apple a day helps!
PK: I might have to dig a pretty big hole... I just ripped off like 6 Hostess Twinkies from some kids... it was cool.. I was all like BWAHAHA and they were all like "Oh no my Hostess Twinkies!"
CO: LOL
What a bunch of cry babies.
PK: I know like seriously right? I don't even like these damn things.... rules of villainy suck sometimes.
CO: You should crawl down some chimneys this year and steal a few of the kids' presents.
They don't need any NEW toys anyways.
PK: No way... I saw Gremlins... I would die in a Santa Suit after breaking my neck... gross
CO: They should be downsizing and playing with used, recycled toys this years, the little pricks.
PK: I fondly remember my 4th Ubermas celebration.. I was given a broken glass jar full of rusty nails... ah the memories!
CO: You were privileged.
I got a paper bag full of dog s#it that was lit on fire on my porch on Ubermas.
PK: Well at least it was ecologically sound.
CO: The flames were emitting sulfur oxides.
I want revenge...but who to?
On the lighter side of things, did you get your Xmas shopping done?
PK: Ubermas... oh yes.... I threw rocks at squirrels for six hours.... I think I hurt my arm.
CO: I shot a couple of squirrels when I went quail hunting last summer and I forgot to throw them on the barbecue with my trout and quail, so I tossed them in the lake in the morning. They're just invasive little pests anyways.
PK: That's neat... we have a lot in common.
CO: Indeed.
Only I hate you.
Just joshing LOL
YOu're a dastardly man, so I have to beware.
PK: Well I am evil...
CO: Yeah, well I'm a sociopath.
PK: Do you want to be my BFFL?
CO: Does that have something to do with puke?
What is BFFL?
PK: I am not sure.. you are like Swedish or something... I forget all those old Captain Ozone Comics blurr together... I think you kicked the crap out of a lumberjack once...
CO: No, I sodomized a lumberjack though.
He had pretty, perky pink cheeks.
I'm half Greek ya know.
And half Irish.
PK: I'm half n half with 2 sugars
CO: Lumps of sugar?
Oh, I get you. Uh-huh.
PK: Have you ever read my evil rantings... I am good at that being a class 3 meta villain and all...
CO: Send me your URL, Bubba.
PK: You like it forsure! I am like the Dear Abby of evil and s#it!
http://evilsupremepizza.blogspot.com/
CO: Can I write to you sometime? I need help.
PK: OMG! I was thinking like the same thing!
CO: I've seen your website before. You wrote some nasty things about me a couple of times. Just for that, I'm going to sodomize you.
PK: What like totally no way! Iz never even talked about youse except for that blog talk radio show where I said I wanted to make you cry by not recycling!
CO: Bulls#it! I'm stepping out for a smoke
PK: Oh no! I get it.. you read my April 1st post and thought it was real... that was April Foolz dude!
Smoking outside hurts the Ozone.
Captain Ozone is offline
Captain Ozone: He'll sodomize ya!
ReplyDeleteI'm totally making t-shirts.
Uh... well now. That wasn't what I expected.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if he recycled the bottle of Jack Daniels that fueled this.
PK has a way with people... even the Capes. I suspect that like any good wildlife documentary maker, for every minute of footage we see posted here on the blog, there are 30+ hours of waiting in the grass getting bitten all to hell by bugs.
ReplyDeleteOh Agent B. you have no idea... the unseen footage from my field work would make some peoples heads explode. There are even some logs I have deleted and sometimes they still haunt me. I would like to say being threatened to be sodomized is not even death con 2 for some of the encounters I have had while talking to capes.
ReplyDeleteIf there is an Ubermas naughty list... I know many a RLSH who will be getting napalm dumped down their chimney by the Dark Lord Krelm.
I've been falsley accused on the Internet of raping and murdering people by you creeps. I also get anonymous hate and threat emails from you.
ReplyDeleteNow you post a mock interview with me killing innocent animals and threatening to sodomize people?! This is really sick and twisted stuff and it is YOU who needs help.
I work closely with kids and I don't think they would appreciate reading this disturbing trash.
Remove this bogus interview from your blog or I will report you to Abuse. Get a life!
I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was you who hacked my Facebook account a couple of weeks ago and vandalized it.
Oh my dear Captain, are we having a little bit of remorse after our little chat? Should be a little bit more savvy when you are talking to strangers on the Internet... never know what might happen afterward now do we? Unless you are prone to blackouts and missing time you darn well know we had this conversation on the 20th.
ReplyDeleteYou are just an outstanding RLSH, threat after threat. I am sure you must be very proud of your work. Glad you do not have detective in your name or this might be embarrassing for you.... oh wait whoops too late.
Geez, Captain Ozone. After reading this post I thought maybe you weren't the sanctimonious ass that you pretend to be. That you could laugh and joke and not be an uptight jerk.
ReplyDeleteInstead you demand for this post to be taken down "for the children". WTF? Seriously?
You're going back on the "Sanctimonious Ass" list, CO.
Defamatory lies are not a laughing matter or a joke. Are you all mentally disturbed?
ReplyDeleteI never chatted with any of you on the 20th. You're skating on thin ice now. Don't think that since I live overseas there's nothing I (we) can do to take legal action against you. Grow up!
Excellent, I have contacted my lawyer, he was not pleased at all calling him in the middle of his holiday meal. I cannot divulge the exact conversation due to attorney client privilege but it went a little something like this...
ReplyDeleteRing Ring Ring
L: What do you want, it is Ubermas?
PK: I have been threatened by legal action!
L: Really? No s#it? Who is it this time?
PK: Captain Ozone.
L: Is that the guy who traveled back in time on a golden toilet?
PK: Yep that's the bunny!
L: Well this is serious then, threatening legal action is a serious thing.
PK: I know right I am scared...
L: It is ok Jeb, I will work on this right away and don't you worry. The hell with Ubermas I will start preparing my briefs right away, and if that fool does not follow through with his threat of legal action we will go after him for my wasted time.
PK: I think I am also emotionally damaged from him ruining my Ubermas.
L: You know, me too! I can't wait to go to court.
O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done; The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart! 5
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
Poop Knife's real name is Tim Norton and he lives in the Orlando area and may have ties to anti-semetic groups. Tim Norton also has a fraudulent MySpace page under the name Free Information. If you have unknowingly befriended this MySPACE profile then delete him from your friends list.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, what??
ReplyDeleteOzone, you're still a loser. Glad to see that! As for your love of animals, you're the scumbag that lost a debate with me on the RLSH forums and then got ban-hammered directly after for posting a video of a live monkey getting a lobotomy as your final response, seeing as my gimmick back then was that of a highly evolved gorilla. Oh man, it makes me so happy to see you're still the same hilariously worthless dolt that you're more than likely slated to be for the rest of your pathetic, media-whoring life.
How'd that Ocala event come along? Y'know, the one you were amping for almost six months with Amazonia? Oh thats right, IT NEVER HAPPENED!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
But srsly, why u mad tho? :)
Hello there, paleomammalian brain!
ReplyDeleteI heard through the grapevine that you were severely traumatized by my monkey lobotomy video. I never met a RLSV who's so proud of a weak stomach. It's always the bold and fearless ones who get expelled from that namby-pamby RLSH forum.
Go to YouTube and search Green Power Rally and you'll see that my demonstration was a success in both the USA and Canada.
Speaking of success, what have you done to help Mother Nature or to smooth the progress of the human condition, you dreary No Talent bum?
It takes less time and effort to kick down your neighbor's snowman than to build one of your own, doesn't it? Try to help humanity progress and evolve for a change instead of just demoralizing everything. You'll find it's much more challenging and gratifying.
Oh boy, now I get to dig through your stupidity one line at a time!
ReplyDelete1) Glad to see you have the superpower of wikipedia. Such big words for such a little man. :)
2) You can stop lying about your bullshit "grapevine", the only people that even saw the video were the mods that deleted it and booted your weird little ass at the same time. Hard for be to traumatized by something I didn't even have the pleasure of laughing at. Did I mention I laugh at videos of animal cruelty? It's like AMV to me: Always funnier with jaunty music and voice-overs.
3) That 'Green Power Rally' wasn't your doing, you pathetic cling-on. That's like taking credit for Earth Day in general because you decided to post a poorly editied flyer about it. ...Over and over, and over, and over... I'm pretty sure they banned you for just being plain annoying, come to think of it.
4) I'm a talentless bum for not wasting my time? This planet is dying every single second of every single day just for the simple fact that humans live on it. I'm sure you'll flap your skinny little arms in a tantrum-throwing style to prove me wrong about this, but a fella named 'Einstein' already proved it. Maybe you should just kill yourself. That would be way more benificial than anything you'd done so far.
5) There isn't one thing that YOU'VE done that can be scientifically proven to have even made the slightest dent in changing the condition of the environment when the average persons day reverses every little hippie thing you do in yours. Infact, I'm going to go empty an entire aersol can outside right now. Have fun spending another few hours of your worthless existance cleaning that up.
Also, it hasn't snowed here since 1987. Thank fuck for that...
AFV, not AMV. I haven't watched that shit since Bob Saget quit. Now THAT guy was a REAL Supervillain.
ReplyDeleteAlso: Headcold. So excuse the typos and fuck you very much.
Thank you, my callous and obtuse friend.
ReplyDeleteI rest my case.
Dude, why have you STILL not figured out that as long as "Save the Earth" is more famous than you are, you're in a parasitic relationship.
ReplyDeleteTake up a SPECIFIC environmental cause that MEANS something. A cause that is TRULY underreported?
How about...
Bats who are dying by the MILLIONS because of white nose disease?
The PCB and DDT that are turning up in fish because of plastic in the oceans?
What about the axlotl that ONLY lives adjacent to Mexico City and is near extinction due to runoff?
I have to stress that these should NOT be one-off talking points. Just mentioning it and saying "so that's why we need to save the world" is BULLSHIT.
Set up a goddamn fund to help with research and conservation.
It's time to STOP talking in soundbytes and stand up for something. Something concrete and something solvable.
And don't you DARE fucking come back to me with "omg let's save the tigers" because that's BULLSHIT.
BE A MAN AND STAND UP FOR SOMETHING UGLY. Tigers are great and all but slimy things are what's keeping this planet alive right now. Tigers could go extinct tomorrow and the only ones who'd suffer are Chinese pharmacists.
I'm going to sign off now before I feel like punching a herpes-ridden koala.
--Agent B
I started raising public awareness and support for renewable energy sources in 1989, more than a decade before renewable energy became a hot topic.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about all the media hype in saving all the beautiful, endangered creatures like tigers, dolphins, whales and spotted owls when there are thousands of other "ugly" creatures that are facing extinction as well. A lot of media campaigns to save the cute endangered animals are merely money making scams anyways.
I led the largest media campaign to save the endangered Pacific Northwest salmon in the 1990's. You can view my endangered salmon television and movie theatre PSA at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBo6P791UdU
I would like to help save other endangered animals as well, but I am only one man and I have no super powers to speak of.
I was designated to crusade for clean energy and that's what my mission is - I'm here to help stop rapid climate change and to eliminate future wars wars over oil. I'm also here to help build a renewable energy infrastructure that will create millions of new industrial and scientific jobs which will boost our economy.
This does MEAN something since clean energy will also save creatures that are dying from air pollution and rapid climate change.
Uhhhhh... one of my ancestors that lives ON the Columbia river in this era has been attending meetings on how to save the salmon since 1998, and he ain't heard of you.
ReplyDeleteBut I forgot--you don't DO local on-the-ground projects. You make videos of yourself. Finger wagging. Saying "be good kids" without complicating your messages with nasty little facts like "the massive cargo ships our economy depends on have the same carbon footprint as 50 million cars".
Why disappoint the kiddies, right?
Oh sure, freight train average about 1.5-2.0 MPG loaded, but we continue to invest in highway infrastructure, and lord knows we wouldn't want to put our gas-guzzling highway truckers out of business... that would be an attack on our what makes our country great, right?
Have you written to your congressman about these uncomfortable facts?
And yes, Ozone, salmon fall under the "popular species" banner. They may not be cute, but they're delicious enough that they don't need your help to "spread the word".
You're just using salmon to make yourself popular.
And it's not working.
You obviously did not take a gander at my salmon PSA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBo6P791UdU) which was televised in the NORTHWEST region and also shown at independent movie theatres in the same area in 1996-97.
ReplyDeleteWritting to your congressman about the uncomfortable facts you mentioned will help very little. They throw your letters in the waste paper basket and it's all a rigged game. That's why I don't vote.
I did not show up in costume at my Green Power Rallies this year. I did this because I knew that people like yourself would accuse me of being a media whore had I appeared in front of reporters at my rallies. Enough said.
Stop posting defamatory lies about me or other RLSHs. I can find out who you really are and where you live just as easily as I did with Poop Knife.
I don't even know if that last bit was directed at me or Bery, but motherfucker, go ahead and try to find out who I am. You're making it sound like I got something to hide. I've been the most up-front Villain in the game and thats the only reason folks like Jingles had so much ammo against me when we were beefin. And "accuse" you of being a media-whore? You just plugged another one of your videos, not once but TWICE, talkin about how much air-time and theater spots it rocked. You ARE a media whore!
ReplyDeleteSeriously dude, you're worried about me hurting the RLSH's imagine by dissing you? You hurt their reputations just by EXISTING. In fact, the majority of them involved in the thread you got banned in email me about how much they HATE you. Pack it up and stop pretending you're still part of this community, because news flash bro, you're not.
And while we're on the topic of how far your green-thumb is from the pulse, how are you expecting to change anything politically if you don't even vote? It's a wonder you haven't suffocated yourself just trying to get your head off the pillow in the morning, because you are by far the stupidest motherfucker to ever throw on a Zorro mask.
Don't let the doorknob punch you up the ass on the way out.
Most interesting. What they all have in common is a totally sardonic and hostile attitude that perpetuates a hopeless and undroductive existence.
ReplyDeleteMisery loves company and people who create their own misery want to justify their actions by bringing people down. It's creepy and insidious.
I'm out of here.
Oh Captain Ozone, you are such a silly person. You really amuse me on so many levels. Again are you sure your a RLSH cause it seems your approach is much more RLSV.
ReplyDeleteI will never confirm or deny my identity to anyone as unlike you and your brood "Poop Knife" only exists in a digital world. Sorry no silly costume or master plans to bring anyone down. Just one thing you should really keep in mind... what if you are wrong? What if your fabulous source on my information is incorrect? Yep "Hero" you are about to go after someone who more then likely is not even aware of the RLSH.
Again you are no hero.. not even close.
Legally speaking, looks like this is stirring up libel, defamation, and damages.
ReplyDeleteBe careful, ladies and gentleman. That may be translated as Cease and Desist, if I were you.
RLSL for..... figure it out.
"Ladies and gentleman"
ReplyDeleteHey, who wants to play twenty questions and guess which loves-the-sound-of-his-own-fake-voice asshole "Anonymous" is? I think I can do it in just one. :)