RLSH Mr. Justice & Powerful Girl

Spotlight: RLSH Phantom Patriot

Ye gads.... this guy makes The Black Monday Society look like circus clowns!

So for those not up to speed on this wonderful RLSH he spent a little time behind bars after his assault on Bohemian Grove back in 2002. http://articles.sfgate.com/2002-01-24/news/17525248_1_bohemian-grove-women-s-groups-richard-mccaslin

Now his approach was obviously very flawed.. but don't get me wrong going after a group that makes offerings to a 40 foot Owl that speaks with the voice of Walter Cronkite sounds like something I might do. Oh who am I kidding that is on my list of things to do after stealing Archie Bunkers chair from the Smithsonian.

So Phantom Patriot only has a few months left on his probation (one of the conditions on his probation other then staying the hell away from Bohemian Grove, was he was not allowed to wear his costume) and has already been putting feelers out in the RLSH community.

I for one cannot wait until this guy makes his glorious return! The Phantom Patriot deserves to be front and center the next time Kodak does more of his glamour shots.

Bam! Pow! Superhero Groups Clash In an Epic Battle of Good vs. Good

Bam! Pow! Superhero Groups Clash In an Epic Battle of Good vs. Good

Phoenix Jones Fights Villains With a Taser, But Zetaman Thinks That's None Too Safe

By ASHBY JONES

SEATTLE—Life isn't easy for the self-proclaimed superhero who calls himself "Phoenix Jones, Guardian of Seattle." A 22-year-old day-care worker by day, he dons a black-and-gold costume by night to harass drug dealers and break up street fights.

But he's having a harder time dealing with his latest nemeses: members of the "Real Life Superhero" (RLSH) movement.

Go on patrol for a night with real-life super hero Phoenix Jones and his team. WSJ's Ashby Jones reports from the rainy streets of Seattle.
.This world-wide collection mainly of grown men with names like Zetaman, Knight Owl, Dark Guardian, and Mr. Raven Blade, have taken to grumbling about Mr. Jones, who has recently been getting more publicity than they do, partly because of his aggressive style.

The RLSHers, many of whom stick to charitable works like delivering food to the homeless, are concerned that Mr. Jones's physical approach might not reflect well on the superhero community, which has worked hard to convince people that it isn't just a group of comic-book geeks with inflated notions of their own importance but, rather, a force for good in the world.

"For the first time, we have someone who agrees with our overall purpose but doesn't agree with our methods," says Knight Owl, a Portland, Ore., member of the RLSH world who, like the others, refuses to give out his real name.

"I suppose it was bound to happen, but it's definitely a growing pain within the community."

Mr. Jones, who declined to allow his real name to be published but whose back story checks out, dismisses the criticism. "I may be eccentric, but I'm not crazy," he says. "I really am here to help the people of Seattle."

Real Life Superheroes, who seem to favor masks and dark clothing—sometimes emblazoned with homemade logos (like the Superman "S")—exist in pockets all over the world. Some, like Knight Owl and Thanatos, based in Vancouver, British Columbia, typically focus on charitable activities.

Others, such as New York's Dark Guardian, patrol areas known for drug activity—a bit like the city's old subway-riding Guardian Angels. Dark Guardian shines lights and takes videos to try to deter crime nonviolently, and he makes emergency calls to 911.

"Mostly, they're relatively normal people trying to help out and have a little fun along the way," says Tea Krulos, a Milwaukee writer working on a book about them.

Phoenix Jones is different. In the 10 months since he became prominent, he has shown a willingness to thrust himself into dangerous situations.

A mixed martial-arts fighter, he broke his nose last month while breaking up a fight, and he says he has been shot and stabbed, too. He often travels with a posse, sometimes carries a Taser nightstick and tear gas, and repeatedly has himself been mistaken for a criminal.

"Superhero' Phoenix Jones, top, uses a cell phone to help monitor possible crimes.
.One Friday night, Mr. Jones and several sidekicks—two quiet men called Buster Doe and Pitch Black; a young woman named Blue Sparrow; and a superhero-in-training called Ski Man—spent several hours making the rounds on the streets of Seattle.

Mr. Jones posed for the occasional cellphone photo with revelers outside night spots in several popular neighborhoods. But, he says, the attention "distracts me from my mission."

Outside a bar, Mr. Jones chastised a man for yelling at a downtrodden passerby.

"Let's keep it cool; let's all have a good night," he said to the man, who quickly backed down.

From there, Mr. Jones chatted up late-night loiterers in areas known for drug dealing. "Stay safe tonight," he said. "Stay warm."

Later, the superheroes ran after a swerving car, suspecting a drunk driver, but the car raced away and, alas, they can't fly. Capes, also, are unfashionable in the superhero world: "They get caught on everything," says Mr. Raven Blade.

Little crime-fighting took place that night. "That's the thing," concedes Mr. Jones. "When there's nothing going on, you feel pretty silly in this outfit," he says, referring to his costume, which he says is equipped with the latest body armor.

Detective Mark Jamieson, spokesman for the Seattle Police Department, applauds citizens' willingness to get involved in their communities and says the department has received 911 calls from Mr. Jones.

But he worries about things getting out of hand. "Our concern is that if it goes badly, then we wind up getting called anyway, and we may get additional victims."

It's that kind of scenario that frightens other RLSHers.

"Whether intentionally or not, he's representing the [superhero] community now," says Knight Owl. "And that makes some people nervous."

Mr. Jones says the RLSH group initially resented his quick move into the spotlight, and blackballed him when he later tried to make nice. So Mr. Jones ultimately started his own group, called the Rain City Superheroes. He says the group's mission is decidedly different from the agenda of the RLSH gang.

"Handing out food to the homeless is an entirely worthy thing to do," he says. "But it's not what superheroes do. If you're going to drive a fire truck, people are going to expect you to put out fires. If you dress up like a superhero, people are going to expect you to fight crime."

Phoenix and one of his cohorts, named Buster Doe, make an appearance at The Dreaming comics and games store in Seattle. Last month, in an effort to patch things up, members of the two groups met up in Seattle and went on a late-night patrol of the city.

According to Mr. Jones and others present, the night didn't go entirely smoothly. At a coffee shop following the patrol, Mr. Jones and Zetaman, a Portland superhero, argued over Mr. Jones's approach. Zetaman declined to comment. But on his blog, he recounted telling Mr. Jones: "[A]ll of us are afraid of one day someone is going to get killed and it'll be all over."

Added Zetaman: "I don't need this kind of macho c— in my life and I don't need to prove myself to anyone, least of all to Phoenix Jones and his Rain City Superhero Movement."

The night of the patrol, Zetaman left the group early and went back to his hotel.

Responds Mr. Jones: "I don't see the point in handing sandwiches to homeless people in areas in which the homeless are getting abused, attacked, harassed by drug dealers."

Since then, the two groups—the Rain City Superheroes and the Real Life Superheroes—have pretty much gone their separate ways.

"We're not one giant family," says Knight Owl. "After all, we're a colorful collection of individuals. We're superheroes."

Write to Ashby Jones at ashby.jones@wsj.com

Copyright 2011 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Chatting with: RLSH The Ant

PK: So whats your deal?
TA: Deal?
PK: Charity hand outs, picking up garbage on the side of the road, going out after midnight with a tazer to zap drunks?
TA: lol, zapping drunks in Wisconsin would disable the whole town...
All of the above actually...volunteer at the food pantry, blankets to the homeless shelter...giving rides to intoxicated people
PK: You are unarmed correct?
TA: Escorting women to their cars on the bar strip
I have a pepper gun, collapsible batons...and 3 black belts in different styles...
Military outfit with hand made custom fiberglass armor and helmet
PK: Neat me too.. one of my belts is western, another has stars on it, and the third has a big silver belt buckle on it.
TA: video and audio recording devices and blinding strobe flashlight
all tied into my iPhone with police scanner app
PK: What do you believe you can accomplish?
TA: along with 3 other RLSHs
More than not doing anything
PK: Good answer.
Why The Ant?
TA: I've been stepped on my whole life...
PK: So are you fighting back for personal beliefs or just a general wish to do good?
TA: I am small in stature yet mighty in strength
Both, I am unemployed and single and want something to help me feel needed in this bad time we live in.
PK: You are aware of the risks involved in this activity?
TA: Of course...I know my town well
I can take a beating and I have common sense to avoid fatal situations
PK: And your associates you patrol with?
TA: Same
They are all skilled and take take a beating as well?
One is a bouncer at a bar...
the other is tall and strong, built...and crazy...lol
I'm not afraid to much...a lil I admit but everyone needs a lil fear
PK: And the female in your group... she can take the hits as well?
TA: I will be training her in self defense this spring and she is so hot that her looks can stop anything
PK: I hope that holds true with a 357 round.
TA: lol
you are very negative
PK: Tough game you have entered into... want it to be sugar coated?
TA: I am practical...not stupid...I am well aware of the risks...I am not a glory hound
PK: Your new... it always begins the same way.
TA: Really
I've trained in Martial arts for 20 years...I can hold my own against 5 men...no problem... without guns
PK: If you do too well you will be targeted.. I am sure you are aware if that?
TA: I will be meeting with the police and letting them know who I am...and this isn't LA...
PK: Drunks, crack heads, and gangs are the same no matter the location.
TA: True, I'd love to debate this with you but I am crating a logo now...gotta run. Thanks for your concern though...:)
PK: Good luck!

RLSH are Frauds

http://m.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/hero_unwelcome_Zi3u1fwtRpo87vXAiAQfSN

So this is how real heroes are treated in our society?

A man who served his country with honor gets called a racist, and fools in spandex expect a pat on the back every time they hand out a cheese burger?

It however does give some satisfaction to know that the RLSH would most likely be the first to be either enslaved or done away with if there was a tyrannical regime.... because they are so easily brainwashed or simpleminded they would be useful but for nothing else.

Look at history and you will see it played out time and again... they are nothing but lemmings eating the mindless brain food fed to them by the Hollywood machine. Dance for your masters RLSH... give them what they want so you can receive your ultimate reward. Cash in on your "reputation" and be on your television shows, coloring books, posters, be the true prostitutes that you are. You live in a bubble and are excited about it... because you could never survive in the world of reality.

Again.. you are no heroes... just puppets being manipulated by your new master.

Chatting with: RLSH Spirt of Albany

PK: Do you like the beach?
SOA: Not really, why?
PK: Ok cool... I was thinking of blowing it up.
SOA: The whole beach? That goes pretty much down both entire sides of the country
and all of Hawaii
PK: I am glad you are indifferent... one less RLSH to worry about stopping me.
SOA: You'd need quite a lot of dynamite, nukes, giant death rays, or other evil weapons to do that
PK: Death Bots man.... I got a whole s#it ton of them off Craig's list... traded some tiki lamps.
SOA: S#it, good job! Just do me a favor, spare the beach boys
PK: I know right?
SOA: and john stamos, you can take out jimmy buffet though
PK: Ehhh once you send a Death Bot out there is really no rules... s#it last time they took out a Milk truck and a snow plow... I did not even know Milk Trucks were still around but yet they beat the living tar out of it...
SOA: shucks!
PK: Do you have your own chair in your Large Room of Good?
SOA: I'm not sure what that means, but I have plenty of chairs
PK: Well on our space station (that is a big piece of crap) we have this big table of evil with our own chairs. My chair really sucks as two of the wheels are broken like a sad shopping cart at the Piggly Wiggly
I think I am being screwed over as all the other chairs look fine....
SOA: Thats messed up!
Just go into the room when the other villains are out and switch the chairs around
that'll show 'em
PK: They have our names on the back....
SOA: Break all the chairs when nobody is around. Except for one. He will be blamed and thrown out, and everyone including you will get new chairs, on his tab!
PK: Crimson Nematode has no money... that plan will never work.
SOA: Choose the richest villain as your fall guy
c'mon, you're supposed to be a brilliant super villain, right?
PK: Man there is no Way I am going against Lord Malignance... he would some how reactivate my student loans... and let's not even go into the Comrade CoCoa aspect.
SOA: Well you're smart, you'll figure it out haha
PK: To be honest all you need is like a GED to become a Meta Villain.
SOA: How do you get the funding for your space station?
PK: Hell If I know... it was built before I joined on.
SOA: And the rocket fuel to get up there and such
PK: I think it had something todo with plastic bottles, baking soda, and a garden hose but again that was before my time.... you should ask The White Skull and his perky minion Femur.
Do you miss the McDlt? I do!
SOA: the what?
PK: Sorry... little off track there... Agent Beryllium keeps leaving empty styrofoam McDlt containers on my front walk to A: Remind me I cannot travel through time and to B: Remind me I will never enjoy a McDlt ever again.
SOA: What a mean guy! Sick your doom bot s or whatever on him. Thats what I would do if I was a cartoon villain
PK: I will tell him you send your love!

Detroit's New RLSH

And were back..... Ah what a wonderful vaction! I made some new super buddy friends and have found out some really interesting information... more on that later BWHAHAHAHA!

Before the pain let's start with some amazing news. Detroit is finally getting a RLSH that is actually worth a damn... ROBOCOP!

http://jalopnik.com/#!5761947/group-raises-50k-for-detroit-robocop-statue

Yep it may just be a statue... a fifty thousand dollar statute, but I have a feeling the motor city will be sleeping a little better with their new defender guarding the city.

This in fact could be the greatest RLSH ever! His suit cost a fortune and he will not do a damn thing.

I would like to thank Pink Eye for crapping up my blog with kitty cats while I was on hiatus. Revenge will be swift and deadly... now go get me a coffee!

Please Stand By.....

Almeratron by Eddsworld

The Mean Kitty Song