I know what you know but you don't know what I know to a common point of understanding... is that my hat?

Not sure if this was a "real" conversation or just some master undertaking by the Thunder Hawks to probe my mind. Either way this conversation did happen... name protected under the "nah nah stick your head in doo doo" act of 1954.

Pk: Hi!
New: hello there
Pk: WHo the heck are you?
New: i'm new
I just discovered the rlsh community
Pk: Well then... welcome to the crazy train... my name is Professor Marvel!
New: thank you!
Pk: Do you like Tacos?
New: I feel like I belong
yes, I like tacos
Pk: Good.... we all do! If you did not that would have become a problem.
New: haha
I take it you're a RLSV
Pk: Who me? Nah no way bro... I am a midget trapped in a horse!
Ahhh no but ya got me... I am a RLSV.
New: haha. well you're the first RLSV I've talked with
Pk: Really no way! Crap... I should have been doing more BWAHAHAHA stuff....
New: have you thwarted any superhero efforts lately?
Pk: I thinks we need to know a little a little bit more about you.... hero! So what's your thing?
New: I plan to start with charity work, maybe do some cleaning up of graffiti. I have to thwart the vandals.
Thwart violence if I see any
Pk: So you are going to go down and volunteer at a homeless outreach shelter? Don't mess with Graffiti... the Geist and others can tell you about that.
New: whatever stuff I can find
I'll have to ask Geist about that then
I haven't tried to do it before
Pk: Who makes Graffiti?
tick tock hero....
New: the graffitist
and gangs
Pk: Mmmm sorry most of the time that is gangs marking territory.... oh good you got it!
So what happens when you remove a gang tag?
New: I presume they get pissed
Pk: Is that good or bad?
New:I can see where you're going with this
Pk: Are we learning?
New: Indeed.
Pk: So.. how do you have graffiti? It is going to happen right?
New: graffiti? it seems like a neverending problem
Pk: Yes it is.. but if there was a place it could be done.. in a safe environment.. it would cease to be a problem.
New: true enough. but I don't think the people responsible would do it if there was a proper place for it.
it would cease to be fun
Pk: http://www.knowledgerush.com/kr/encyclopedia/Graffiti/
New: thanks for the link. I must read up on this.
Pk: Grass roots movements... take your problem, make others aware, and find a peaceful solution.
And you don't need a mask, or a code name to do it either!
New: thanks for the advice
isn't it against your nature to help superheroes, or is it all part of a larger, more elaborate scheme?...
Pk: Take or leave what you want... it is always your choice.
New: a true statement. thanks for the tips though, seriously.
Pk: Still hate you though.... hero!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
You will rue many a day!
New: Justice and Truth will prevail.
I'm out...until next time, villain

Please don't club me in the head!

Damnit RLSH you know better then this. Yeah sure why not... hand craft a metal pipe to whap someone in the head that you believe is a wrong doer! Nothing wrong with that what so ever.

Not like you are going out with code names, and protective gear looking to impose your own personal ideas of what you view as a crime and punishment is.

As normal support on the "Beating someone in the head with a home made club" idea was over the top!

-------------------------
Voodoo Rlsh's Photos - Armory
Fast, strong, billy. Easy to make

Metatron Arc Angel, Skyler Nichols and Rlsh DarkSpartan like this

RedHammer Rlsh what is it bro
Kieran 'Nikoli' Herman its a billycane.
Voodoo Rlsh A Billy is a class of weapon. Examples of billies are asps nightsticks batons and blackjacks. It's just a non-lethal stunning blunt weapon that's very painful ;)
Kieran 'Nikoli' Herman I just call em all billycanes. :D
RedHammer Rlsh nice, how did ya make it, is it easy to hide incase of the coppers
Voodoo Rlsh I keep it concealed. It I used a drum stick. I turn it upside down and wrap it with duct tape. I used random pieces of scrap plastic under the tape to shape the handle.
RedHammer Rlsh wicked
Blue Rlsh I'd stick to the pepper spray and tasers.
Voodoo Rlsh Tonight I'm finishing a taser glove. So I can wear my normal gloves but it can stun ;)
Kieran 'Nikoli' Herman gotta love little inovations.
Voodoo Rlsh Yea haha
RedHammer Rlsh ive tried that but it was either 2 weak er 2 bulky, how did u do urs
Arsenul Rlsh I have two drum sticks I might make a pair of clubs
Arsenul Rlsh If I sent them to you could you make it?

------------------

Well nice to see Master Legend approves of this fun RLSH fashion accessory.. oh and its easy to conceal from the police... that is just nifty as well. And why do you want to carry something on you that you would want to hide from law enforcement... oh yeah that's right... BECAUSE YOU ARE COMMITTING A CRIME!

If anyone who stumbles across these blogs has ever been attacked and beaten by a spandex clad lunatic please let me know. Depending on the location of said attack authorities can be informed of costumed vigilantes in your area.

Operators are standing by.

Mexico has Enough Problems

Well I Just love when I get friend requests from people who do not know my work.

I am not sure what the hell this is... but given Mexico's past and present status this is most likely not even a blip on the radar.

Here is my fabulous conversation with this fine RLSH after I accepted the request... I protected his name under the "I don't play with foreign retards on the Internet act of 1998"

PK: Who are you?
Mexican RLSH: ***, are you a rlsh?
PK: No.. I am RLSV
Mexican RLSH is offline

Sigh... T-shirts and a book will be on sale shortly... just send me the 4.5 million dollars to my pay pal account that I swear I will not spend on that Hyper Drill from the Consortium of Evils last Craig's List advertisement.

Chatting with: RLSH Skyman

Here is a new fun feature I have started. Since clearly I am a moron and know absolutely nothing about anything, I was told I should get to know what the RLSH was all about... beyond spandex and putting ketchup on dead cats.

So here is technically part two in the new "Chatting with" series.


PK: Do you like Skybars?
SM: Never heard of em?
PK: Oh..ok just wondering.
SM: What are they?
PK: It's an old fashion candy bar
PK: That might be good marketing for you... get an endorsement deal.
SM: Haha... but I do like the idea of maybe including them in my homeless outreach efforts.
PK: "Have a Skybar from Skyman!"
SM: Right on!! I like the way you think!
PK: Really? Gosh thanks!
SM: So are you an RLSV?
PK: I sure am... class 3 too!
PK: I even have my own chair on the Damocles!
PK: Pretty freaking sweet!
PK: Have you met Zetaman?
SM: I am very good friends with both Zetaman and his wife Apocolypse Meow
PK: Ohh ohh tell me I have always imagined he smells like Watermelon Jolly Ranchers... please tell me its true!
SM: heh... Jolly Ranchers... thats a new one on me... I thought he kinda smelled like well.... dadelions and tulips
SM: And if this get attributed back to me... well, You sir are a fiend!
PK: Mallow cups... Zagnut bars, Good and Plenty? Any of those ring a bell?
PK: I bet Meow smells like black liquorice and berma shave.
SM: She does have a pleasent smell
SM: I think she is a goddess among RLSH women
PK: Wow! Can I quote you on that?
SM: I hold true to that and kept telling her that this past weekend...
SM: I dont care if she thinks Im nuttier that a Good n Plenty!!
SM: Im crazy I tell ya! Crazy like a fox!
PK: Yeah... but clearly have no understanding of candy... you do know what a Hershey bar is?
SM: Your right... Im not a candy bar afficianado
SM: I probably got that reference wrong.
SM: But eh! Atleast Im trying here
PK: Damnit man... you need to work on this if you are going to be endorsing SkyBars!
SM: LMAO.... you sir, are very correct!
SM: So now I shall twaddle off to Hershey, PA on my next vacation to learn all about them!
PK: The whole town smells like chocolate!
SM: I know right?
SM: Im sure you would like to accompany me on said field trip
PK: You sick bastard I am diabetic! You are trying to kill me!
SM: How was I to know Jeb!
SM: Still... you gotta admit death by chocolate... it wouldnt be that bad of a way to go
SM: Hell, Id even take that as a good way to die!
SM: Actually, it was YOU who was on the candy bar rant... I just tried to join in!
PK: Sure.... right what ever.... finally get to talk to a RLSV and you already want to kill me.... I see how it is.

Skyman is offline.

Amazonia Wants to Steal my Blood!

I was recently contacted via a vast modern social networking site by the RLSH member Amazonia Alkidike trying to lure me into her clever trap.

Apparently on October 2nd, 2010 in Ocala Florida she will be involved in a blood harvesting plot.

Momma Knife raised no fool.. clearly Amazonia is a Vampire RLSH. A hybrid hero is not unheard of as currently I am arching Molly and Dolly a pair of Real Life Mermaids.

Being a class 3 Meta Villain I was very aware of the Alkidike ruse to deprive me of my beloved red life source. In this time of strife in my world I reached out to one of the only humans on the globe who could help me... a Real Life Super Hero.

After many a frantic message I got a response from the one and only Silver Sentinel.

PK: Amazonia Alkidike wants to steal my blood!!!

SS: Hihowareya
PK: doinggreatyourself?
SS: Day off.. took a nap.. have to stay up all night so I don't screw up my sleep pattern.
PK: Ah, i do understand that one. I wuz fishin this weekend.
SS: Catch anything?
PK: 4 fish (all returned to the water) and 7 blue crabs that I boiled alive then ate.
SS: I had crabs once.. a small steel comb and some special shampoo.. all gone.
SS: Oh oh.. seafood crabs Yeah.. don't like those either
PK: hey crabs are crabs... boil and eat!
PK: Amazionia will not have my blood! I think she is a Vampire.
SS: She just wants to have an event people will come to.
PK: That is crap, she wants to my blood!
SS: You should drive a wooden steak though her heart.
PK: I think that may be a bit drastic, you should attend and have your picture taken with her... if she does not appear in the photo then she is a vampire.
SS: I am afraid I cannot travel at this time.
PK: I understand... she will not take your blood either... you are wise.

Spotlight: RLSH Miss Fit

Good Golly... I could be for the first time at a loss for words.

So here is one of our newcomers on the RLSH scene Miss Fit. Other then looking like a human wrecking machine, what wonderful things can this dynamic woman add to the already unique melting pot that is the Real Life Super Hero sub culture?

Well howabout being involved in the adult entertainment industry? Yep our newest "hero" has her own adult page http://denisemasino.com/ (note this first page linked is somewhat safe but if you click and proceed further do so at your own risk).

Bravo! You guys sure do pick who you want to be in your little club ever so carefully don't cha? So now little Billy and Suzie along with finding out the gross intolerance of their favorite heroes can some day aspire to become a "hero" just like Miss Fit.

Please pardon me.... I must now go scrub my eyes with bleach.

Spotlight: RLSH Crossfire the Crusader

Ah what a fine specimen we have here.

Crossfire is a man of the cloth... and just like most religious zealot's he does not practice what he preaches. All is well when he is telling you what to do but question his actions and feel the wrath.

For someone that likes to interact with villainy one would think he would have a thicker skin? He posted a silly blog on June 20th poking a little fun at the RLSV sub culture. I got a chuckle out of this and honored him with a post (even though he totally insulted Malvado by using a picture of Zr. Zaius who is an Orangutan and not a picture of Urko or Ursus who are Apes).

When in trouble I always reach out to RLSH members... that is there job after all. I had a unique member asking me to arch them. I am evil not a monster, to arch this individual would have been needlessly cruel. I asked Mr. Fire to help (which he eventually did) but what was his fantastic advice to me.... to pretend to be Comrade Cocoa. Yep folks I should pretend to be a dog... wow!

In my appreciation for the eventual help I received I decided to honor Mr. Fire with another glorious post on his blog. I found his "Pennies from Heaven" post very amusing so I posted a link to something else I thought was amusing involving pennies:

http://funnyordie.com/m/tjz

I guess pennies coming from God is OK but from ones ass is not.

So after my post was removed by him I went about my business.... then after posting in an unrelated area on the interweb...on an unrelated topic.. I get a direct response from Mr. Fire.

"Its so easy for haters to hide behind cartoon pictures and false names online to spew their venom...its just as easy to block their silly behinds and let them swim in their own vomit...just saying"

Spew Venom and swim in vomit.... gross.... so much for forgiveness and Christan love. Now believe it or not I am able to pull Bible verses out of my ass.. kind of like pennies. My response to Mr. Fire:

" Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone? Luke 5:21"

Hmmm... guess getting what you give touched a nerve, and Mr. Fire said:

"Jesus said to his followers that if a city does not accept you to shake the dust off your feet as you leave...no sense in giving time and effort to senseless arguments with bitter people...Its not about forgiving sins or not forgiving sins...Its about refusing to get caught up in drama...If they want to talk sensibly I have no issues, but the ones who spew bile with every word can seek another outlet because i have not the time for it."

Now that is one hell of a Bible quote... I guess it must be somewhere in the back? So what is this lesson? If someone mocks you cast them out? I was able to laugh at your jokes Mr. Fire... don't play with the forces of evil if you cannot take the consequences.

Now let's have a bit of fun... Crossfire has a big burning cross on his chest. So let's use some "Jingles logic" if I have an anti Semitic email address but have never said anything anti Semitic and Cross Fire has a burning cross on his chest...ahhh he is a Klansman!


**Bonus Round!** Crossfire the Crusader is also the master of voices. Our first interaction many months ago I was accused of being another blogger that goes by the name of Lavender Leopard. Due to his grand skills of deduction many a RLSH believes I am now LL as well..... sure why not I am also Agent Beryllium's goggles, Silver Sentinel's Beard, and Comrade Cocoa's hat.